Confessions of a chocolate addict

I cant help it, I am an addict.

Let me begin with a story. It was the very first Valentine’s Day I was celebrating with newbie boyfriend. Now husband. (What can I say, I have led a dull life). Girls around me giggled and gushed over their gifts, jewellery, clothes, gadgets. And the man gets me One Dairy Milk chocolate. I knew then that he was a keeper.

Fast forward many years to the present. I get the bags, shoes, clothes, jewellery and I ask the husband, morosely, “Why dont you get me chocolates anymore?”

The man was obviously startled. But not surprised. Chocolates have been the kind of unhealthy obsession that has me sneaking to the fridge at midnight under the pretence of wanting to check whether I’ve turned the knobs of the gas burner off properly, with the virtuous air only such a dreary housewifely task could bring about and then skulk in corners behind doors devouring my poor child’s stash of the dark stuff.

Now given that the child has been brainwashed by over zealous teachers about the negatives of chocolates and instructed not to partake any further of such ambrosia, the opportunities of such skulking furtively moments are fast on the downswing much to my terror, leaving me to plot and plan as to how I can keep up the quota of the dark sweet stuff that needs to be mandatorily stashed in the house,

Yes, yes, research proves very nasty things about people like me, and to believe them, I;d be better off sitting on street corners shooting actual junk up my veins given that chocolate does the very same thing in smaller doses. Sweet and high fat foods (ever wonder why you sneak in that burger or that pizza even though you’ve sworn on all things holy to refrain from ingestion, seeing the colossal damage inflicted on waistline, you got your answer now) trigger pleasure chemicals in the brain, called opoids. So chocolates, and shoes and handbags, are up there in the big league, of making you a right on junkie without the needle marks to show for it, only the tyres around the waist. Cocoa contains addictive molecules called phenylethylamines (PEA) which is a speed like drug. And the effect is definitely a minor high. Ever wonder why the best intentions of dieters come to naught during PMS and a good party pack of chocolate chip icecream. For me, melted in the microwave, Any other melted chocolate icecream maniacs here, say aye!

Them poor lab rats, force feed a diet of chocolate ended up eating six times their regular intake of fat if it was cloaked in sweet chocolate. When denied these food, the subjects experience withdrawal pangs similar to those seen in people withdrawing from morphine. Yes, long stints without shopping for new clothes and bags and shoes also have the same effect on me. But at least indulging in that addiction depletes the wallet, trims the legs from all that walking around, tones the tush, and stretches the body from the climbing all over the shelves. The arms and biceps also get worked out carrying all them bags. Chocolates just go straight to my hips and sit there, smirking, as I pat myself in, inch by inch into what were once loose denims.

A very serious scientist type and an authority on the subject thunders that addictive type personalities are commonly attracted by addictive foods like chocolates, high fatty foods, and hold your breath, carbohydrate rich foods. Ever need your bread fix every morning, with dollops of butter dipped in sugary tea? Yup, yup. You’re in the club, honey.

Therefore I know now that I am a hopeless addict. Incapable of functioning normally without my daily dose of cocoa. Therefore I will not resist the craving. Let them drag me kicking and screaming to chocoholic rehab.

Till then, bring on the Lindt Dark. Deprived addicts can turn violent.

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About Kiran Manral

40 and battling flab, wrinkles and grey hair. Fighting a losing battle with the weighing scale. Living with the two loves of my life, my husband and my son. Serial buffet offender and reformed shopaholic.
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17 Responses to Confessions of a chocolate addict

  1. Devaki says:

    Aye, melted chocolate icecream maniac – that’s me! I never thought I’d meet a fellow maniac Kiran – you are one too? Wow! Most people I know just laugh at me. So now I avoid the microwave, just keep stirring the icecream furiously hoping it melts before anyone notices. :)

    And this post reminds me – I haven’t had a chocolate or icecream in more than a month. Is that an achievement or what!!!

    Like this

  2. Suki says:

    Lindt dark? Right there with you sistah! You have me craving chocolate icecream now..
    drats. PMSing. That just explained it.

    Like this

  3. My husband is coming from the foreign today :) and I will get many many chocolates…I cant wait to go and pick him up from the airport now ;)

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  4. chandni says:

    gasp!

    I could’ve written that. I am right there with you on chocolate and toast buttered to the core dipped in chai.

    I demand membership to the club, waistlines be damned!

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  5. Booboosmamma says:

    Did you say lindt dark chocolate???? Thats exactly what i am eating after my lunch. I ate a healthy salad for lunch and had to compensate for the calories, so ate a big piece of the dark goodness.

    Now about brat, he sounds adorable. My uncles son told his mom to wear pretty clothes when she comes to drop him at school as all his teachers are pretty and if she cant dress up, let the driver drop him…men and their obsession with good looks start early..

    Like this

  6. aneela z says:

    Lindt Dark and the Lindt Orange…say it soft and it almost seems like a prayer…and well as they say anything good in life is either immoral, too expensive or fattening.
    I think the kindness impaired Mr Scientist (Im pretty sure it is a man) is a sick, sick sadistic moron and HATES women, rainbows, bunnies, and anything nice…Im pretty sure he had a BAD childhood and now wants to stamp out any kind of happiness in the world. And who funded his research?!!! a conglomerate of equally sick sick people. to think that I have to go about begging for any kind of funding for research projects to discover that there is idiot out there getting money to find ways to deprive a considerable section of the population of their daily sugar high is killing me. Im definitely going to the dark side!!

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  7. aneela z says:

    P.S…I have blog rolled this and your karmickids blog (not a mom yet but really really love that side to you…read my comment circa Feb on your “readers” in Alaska and beyond).Hope you are Ok with that. warmly, a

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  8. Kiran Manral says:

    Devaki: Am superawed. Over a month?

    Suki: Join the club.

    Gooddaysunshine: Yippee. The times my hubby comes back from the abroad never get to see the damn chocolates cause theyre ferretted away for the kids in the family.

    Chandni: You’re in. Its a given. You took me to your island right?

    Aneela: Flattered. And honoured.

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  9. Priyanka says:

    When my mil learnt of my chocoholism -she was appalled that my cravings were more frequent than those of her 2 year-old grandson’s.
    You know kiran, there is this place in Bangalore called the corner house that serves the most fabulous, mouth watering, to die for death by chocolate. Ice cream, fudge, cream, chocolate sauce, nuts, and more chocolate. Its almost like dinner in a take-away sized bowl. You should definitely try it when you go there next. I always end up putting on oodles of weight when I go to Bangalore to my mum’s place. And everyone thinks it cos of my mom’s cooking ;)

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  10. RaisingT says:

    What can I say.. was just caught last night when husband heard the rustle of the foil of a Diary milk fruit & nut….
    Didn’t help that I had just forced a dinner of soup and only soup down our throats :)

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  11. phoenixritu says:

    Micro-melted icecream and hazelnut laden chocolates … these are what keep me from murdering fellow human beings. Its a natural instinct to rid the earth of a few jerks – but my family keeps me happy on chocolate :)

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  12. Dottie says:

    You should have posted a drip alert there. My keyboard is all wet and slobbery now! I think I am an addict. I need me my carbs. sigh. and the chocolate. I regualry swipe chocolates (the worst kind too) from the goody bags Chip gets at buddays. sheesh.

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  13. Manasa says:

    I love chocolates, ice creams, lays n kurkure no matter they bring tyres :)

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  14. kbpm says:

    Kiran-
    Oh wow. Melted Choc Ice Cream. Lindt Dark. Look right. I am standing Right There. :-)

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  15. Abha says:

    :)

    tyres means happiness induced by loadsa chocolate!

    and only of the dark variety!! i cant dream of feeding myself sweet milk chocos like dairy milk and horrid hersheys kisses! a fav gift from all phoren return peoples!! :p

    M goes nuts everytime he enters a duty free shop! he sees rows and rows of chocos and then has choose among piddly kind of dark chocos!

    he has been very creative tho! got one this time which had spice in it! ooooh! sinful dark chocolate with a spicy edge!!

    i need one now!!! bwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!! :(

    cheers!

    abha

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  16. pumpkins mom says:

    ahh, what bliss to know there are others like me :)..after rummaging through my refrigerator and cupboards looking for chocolate for the past couple of weeks I finally bought some Lindt today..oh yes the dark sinfull goodness..heaven on earth hmmm….

    Like this

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