Met a lady yesterday. Who peppered her speech with cusses. And obscenities. And laughed when she realised each one hit me like a slap in the face. Am I old fashioned? The maximum I can stretch my cussing self is to a hushed F-word in a dire situation. And then too I look around, embarassed that someone might have heard me. Convent school education and a teacher mom took care of any foul tongue I might have had the freedom to develop.
It grates on my ears. Like a nail on a slate.
I dont think I’m going to have many conversations with her.
I knowww! I think I’m old-fashioned too. But, I just don’t get how it’s cool to be foul-mouthed!
*Delurking*
Pure assault on the ears isn’t it? Like someone’s pouring molten lead into them. And “lady”??? You are too polite madam! Fossilised archaeopteryx with delusions of post-modern resurrection would be more like it.
Pure assault on the ears isn’t it? Like someone’s pouring molten lead into them. And “lady”??? You are too polite madam! Fossilised archaeopteryx with delusions of post-modern resurrection would be more like it.
continuing to use the cuss words knowing fully well you are uncomfortable – that seems to be a grown up version of bullying, no? so childish.
And yes – i also hesitate big time in using cuss words – why unnecessarily comment on relatives/body parts when i can easily use the appropriate words for my feelings – that’s what those words are supposed to be do in the first place:-)
its not being old fashioned…just a question of being good mannered…everyone draws the line at not speaking with one’s mouth open when eating so present company need not know what is going on in there…or being discrete about blowing smoke in someone else’s face…so I cant fathom why some people have to start cussing and when you ask them to turn it down they retort that “arey Im just being me and cant bottle myself up”…please do, I really dont want to know the ugliness inside.
SM is right…there are “appropriate words” to express happiness, dismay, anger…perhaps they are covering up the paucity of their vocabulary (think Grey’s Anatomy…USE YOUR WORDS) by using obscenities. Get the lady a thesaurus QUICK.
iam not a fan of cuss words either…i cant even use the f word…but i dont see why ppl think its “cool” to use word like this…i wud rather like to hv polite ppl around than foul mouthed ones..
I cuss quite a bit, but not in front of people who wouldn’t reply in kind! It took me a while to realize that not everyone would appreciate the F-bomb – I guess this lady is yet to figure out that her residual angst needn’t become angst fodder for the rest of the world!
Did I make sense? No? I’m just back from uni and sleep.y.
and no, she wasn’t a *lady*
Pet peeve of mine – our senior director uses cuss words a lot in his conference calls. He shouts on his phone pacing up and down our aisle of cubicles.
It really annoys me, violates the “respectful to others workplace” he is supposed to create. It is against corporate policy too.
Don’t blame you Kiran, in the end it reflects a person’s crassness.
I don’t make distinctions between men and women and definitely won’t call the guy I describe a gentleman!
I f**king cuss a f**king lot. That doesn’t f**king make me f**king crass.
Ok seriously though, I do cuss and I don’t even know when I became such a gutter mouth.
The good news is that I know when to clean up my act and say “Flip” instead of “F**k”. Like around people who don’t know me well enough to know that I’m not really that ugly inside or around my parents or around little kids.
Although they’re going to pick it up eventually anyway. (the kids, not my parents)
I am in your corner. I find cussing very unlady-like.
I think so too..like you and Dottie. I find it extremely rude and uncouth.
I curse. But I think it’s VERY bad manners to curse when you know your company doesn’t like it. That’s the deal I struck with the mother — I’ll cuss in my life but only where I know it’s OK.
(V doesn’t count.)
I feel people use cuss words when they don’t have enough words to express what they are feeling. Or when they don’t know how to channel the anger/frustration they are feeling into words strong enough to express themselves adequately.
And then there are some who cuss to seem cool. I completely don’t get them.
I was brought up the same way – being a potty moouth was not allowed and I grew up to realize I DIDN’T need to be one to express myself. Teaching my daughter the same thing – not that cussing is bad, but that using non-cuss words that adequately express how you feel are better at letting people understand you.
Threedrinksahead: It isnt cool. Its juvenile. And uncouth. I dont care if I am a dinosaur on this.
Clytemnestra:
SM: I think she was feeding on my unease. She felt she was bullying me I guess, but I think its her loss. I will never want to spend time getting to know her beneath the cuss words.
Aneela: Good idea, next time I say, get a thesaurus girl!
Mandira: True, very true. I actually physically wince when I hear such language.
Suki: No, she wasnt a lady. But you are a doll.
Gigi: My husband swears a lot too. But not when he’s talking with me. I dont stand for it. With his friends okay. Its the supposedly macho thing to do. But I dont hang around waiting for him to splatter me with swear words in normal conversation.
Broom: I am sure you have the sensitivity not to curse when you see the onlooker wincing as you speak and palpably edging away. She just chortled and continuing spewing filth.
Dottie, Shobana: The ladylike bit aside. It was just too uncomfortable, getting a f*&k, b*&%ch, A@#$eh(*&e, peppering every sentence.
Sue: Talk the way you’re being spoken to is my motto. If I am polite and not swearing my tongue off, do me the courtesy of being the same. Thats all I ask from her.
Ceekay: This was cussing to be cool. And was so damn uncool according to me because all it did was make me not want to talk with her anymore.
And that’s why he is a gentleman! I object to such language being used in a professional setting. Its one thing to express deep frustration on occasion, its something else when you use it in every sentence.
i’ll sound like a country bumplin for saying this but I am a total fab india types.
Kurtas with base coulored salwars, kajal and silver jewellary…
at least that’s what my work look is like!
i’ll be the only one to go against the tide. i use an occassional F-word. but i dont buy the whole unladylike thing. what happened to equality? either its impolite for both sexes or not.
and where does one draw the line? there was a time when damn, bloody, and shit were not acceptable. but so many of us use them today.
while i dont really have a problem holding my tongue… i do think its not a huge deal. but yes, i’m in Sue’s corner. if i see if makes someone uncomfortable, i dont do it
i agree with Mad Momma on this one. I don’t buy the whole unladylike thing either.
it’s true that one should judge his/her audience before blurting the words out. it is of course rude to offend the person you are interacting with … but i’m not really against the use of the words. i use them at home around husband all the time but obviously, i wont use ‘em in work setting or around my parents.
In advertising, I came across loads of people who cuss for no reason, because they think it makes them look cool! Well! My repertoire of cuss words is very limited and I can only use one in a conversation when I am very close to the person I’m talking to – only R and a couple of close friends fit the bill!
As for cussing being unladylike, well, I think it’s uncouth. Irrespective of whether it’s a man or a woman spewing them, cussing is not a quality I admire!