So many sales, so little time…

The terrible thing about sales is that they all come at once. Piled up, back to back, wherever you look. So you end up exhausting all your money and living on chewing gum till the end of the month. The good thing about being broke is that you dont have money to spend anymore on that incredible lift the butt back pocket pair of jeans from Guess that would definitely make you look like the siren you always knew was within you somewhere, buried beneath layers of blackheads and pimples, and cellulite and sheer fat. But then such is the irony of life. Options goes on a 50 per cent sale just as I have exhausted every crumb I have in my wallet with needless overstocking of the brat’s wardrobe from Ruff Kids and Lilliput and Gini and Jony and Scram. (What to do, am a sucker for him being well coordinated all the time, although his idea of being well dressed currently is a leatherite jacket over a bare chest with spare ribs on full display, and a cap. Do I need to spell out who his style icon is? Nasal voice and all.) So now, I am currently with Promod and Options still to be checked out, while the monetary situation is on red alert. Which, to me, is like being held back by chains and manacles, and whipping dungeon masters. Well, this could be some wierd person’s fantasy so will change the topic. Anyway, coming back to the situation on the diet front…finally got into my lovely pair of Next bootcuts, which had gathered moss and fungoid elements in the cupboard. Actually half my cupboard is like that, I sometimes wonder if I should send the army in to flush out insurgent elements and alien lifeforms growing amongst the huge pile of unused clothes, still be hoarded greedily in the hope that one will someday, get back to a 26 inch waist. Never was at 26 at any point in life, but then always hope for more than you wish is the motto. So here one is, in Miss Sixty Tshirt, with kind friend asking me why I need to advertise my current weight, the sixty bit being nice and prominent up front in art deco cursive style. Point to be noted. For those who kindly asked. Dont really know what doesnt need to be eaten after five except for carbs, and will google up the answers to the questions and post them with a mandatory warning, not to be followed by the chronically hungry. What has also worked in the miniscule whittling of the waistline has been the switching to flat slippers in the evenings. Can just see you smack your forehead at this amazing revelation–why did I not think of this before? Am now dispensing this advice like the holy grail to all who care ask. Forget the gym, wear sneakers and let your kid loose in the park or the mall. You get a week’s dose of cardio in a single day. And all the window shopping you want. Told you, I was the queen of multitasking.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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