Was tagged for this on the baby blog, so did it meekly. And then realised it fitted in better out here, so here it comes. Moppets Mom, you were right. Enjoy.
It perhaps says a lot about what people think of one’s equation with the male populace when they want me to answer 22 earthshattering questions about what men want to know about women. And when three lovely ladies ask me to do the same thing, it does rather go right to my head, which is so swollen right now, you could put me on a string and I’d float happily with you wherever you want to take me. So MadMomma, Moppets Mom and Itchingtowrite here goes my version of the questionnaire. And god help any male who dares ask me these questions. Afterall, am respectable married woman.
1. How do you feel after a one night stand?
Depends on whether I wore my stilettoes or not
2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?
Butt floss. Never a great idea.
3. Does it hurt?
Women are strong. We can take it.
4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?
If I dont realise it, you’re around to let me know. Loudly.
5. Does size really matter?
Of course. Especially when it comes to carats.
6. When the bill comes are you still a feminist?
I am not a feminist. I am a kept woman. I will always give the male the privilege of being the provider. I will feed the male ego.
7. Why do you take so long to get ready?
Well, I am always ready. Such infinite beauty never needs primping.
8. Do you watch porn, too?
I’d rather not watch. I’m a prude. I reserve that pleasure for those who dont get enough.
9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything?
No. Everything from Tiffany’s might solve something though.
10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us?
Oh yes, you strong, silent, I have no conversation to share types. You get me into a blathering mess.
11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat?
Maybe because I really do. And you dont let me forget it.
12. Why are you always late?
I am never late. I make an entrance.
13. Does it bother you when we scratch?
Who cares. Just do it when I am not watching or I might be forced to comment.
14. Do you wish you could pee standing up?
Why? So I need to wash my hands everytime?
15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?
They’ve now got their husbands to add extra weight to their heads
16. How often do you think about sex?
How many minutes are there in a day???
17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date?
More power to them.
18. Would you?
Maybe, if my first date was with Richard Gere.
19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?
Why? Are they masochists?
20. Why does every woman think she can change him?
Women are always giving the important things in their lives a makeover. Men included.
21. Does it matter what car I drive?
No. It matters what car you gift me.
22. Do you ever fart?
Eww no. That plant next to me just did.
And now will tag Childwoman, Average Jane and Dipali to take the baton further…