Do you have anybody toxic around you???

Yup. Those kinds. Those kinds emitting fumes of negativity that perfume the room before they can even make an entrance? The ones that would need a crane to lift the corners of their mouths into a smile? The ones, that if the Gods ever smiled at them, and managed to land them the megaprize in the megalithic lottery, would still manage to chew up your eardrums about what a drag it is to actually go so far to collect the damn cheque and why cant it be sent across by liveried handdelivery, and did you see how rude that liftman was, he didnt even move a centimetre to allow for fat to float freely in said lift? The ones who spend an hour on elaborate rituals and praying and the moment they finish find something or someone to criticise. Think hard. Anybody? Anybody you feel like ducking behind walls and potted plants when they approach? Anybody who is guaranteed to brighten up your morning when they dont make their presence felt? I’m really lucky. I get my daily dose at the crack of dawn. The day begins with a long whine about how it was impossible to sleep due to assorted causes comprising cars on the road which should know better than to honk in the vicinity of such an important personage, the muezzin from the mosque upfront who dares to break shut eye at 5 am with his call, the weather that dares to be too chilly (yes, we are shivering in 12 degrees celsius in Mumbai), and the fan that makes a sort of irritating noise. Having got that politely out of the way, without needing to be asked how the sleep went, the discussion will veer, steered magnificently by the strong arm of self obsession about how the joint pains are acting up, how the maids are harassing one by not doing all they have to, how the neighbours are rude and boorish and fightercocks and have no respect. I flee to the bathroom ostensibly to have a bath, and wonder if there is some way one can instal permanent auto reply with pleasant smile on my face. Thankfully, the bath saves me, and I rush out. The moment I return from work I will be greeted by the glummest face that only a lack of efficient bowel movements can produce. The maids, it seems, have acted up again. The joints are acting up again. The grandchild is acting up again. The neighbour, a perfectly pleasant and chatty lady whenever I bump into her, has stood at her doorstep and yelled vile and unmentionable things. I escape into the bedroom and switch the laptop on. I am followed into the bedroom where I attempt a meek escape for a more detailed explanation on why it is essential to Keep A Distance from such uncouth neighbours. Any wonder why we had uncouth and unsociable neighbours in the previous building. People who were Not Worth Talking Too. And when I nod and smile in mock assent, all the while wondering if I can actually find something to plug my ears up, the topic veers to family friends who have now all become uncouth and donot call or visit, and how they would all be around every single Sunday, and no one ever bothers to even call now, and how if they ever call, One Should Be Very Cold and Distant. Any recommendations for some good ear plugs would be welcome, along with techniques on how to remove the toxicity that is being dumped into my system every single day. Yes, have tried aromatherapy and meditation, but the toxic overload is becoming a trifle too much. Can just about see myself drowning in seas of postmenopausal angst.


About Kiran Manral

Kiran Manral published her first book, The Reluctant Detective in 2011. Since then, she has published eight books across genres till date. Her books include romance and chicklit with Once Upon A Crush (2014), All Aboard (2015), Saving Maya (2017); horror with The Face at the Window (2016) and nonfiction with Karmic Kids (2015), A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up (2016) and True Love Stories (2017). Her short stories have been published on Juggernaut, in magazines like Verve and Cosmopolitan, and have been part of anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul, Have a Safe Journey (2017) and Boo (2017). Her articles and columns have appeared in the Times of India, Tehelka, DNA, Yowoto, Shethepeople, New Woman, Femina, Verve, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Conde Nast Traveller, DB Post, The Telegraph, the Asian Age, iDiva, TheDailyO and more. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards 2017 for Literary Contribution. She is a TEDx speaker and a mentor with Vital Voices Global Mentoring Walk 2017.
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12 Responses to Do you have anybody toxic around you???

  1. childwoman says:

    Now now…Is that me you are talking about?? LOL…
    My best wishes to you, you brave woman!!


  2. dipali says:

    I had lived with that for quite a while, and boy, it is tough- like having a Dementor around you, sucking out your vitality and joy.
    Except, it ain’t easy to be old, and everyone has a right to express themselves. But you have my profound sympathies- I’ve been there, and it’s bloody difficult.


  3. Oh well.. you’re a brave woman to live with it. I am guessing its always been this way. how abt filling up her day with satsang and an early mornign walk with ppl of her own age etc. no? useless suggestions? okay.


  4. randomvignettes says:

    oh. Been there for a while…not nice at all..nuh-huh..heartfelt sympathies to u..Dipali is is slightly dementorish…


  5. randomvignettes says:

    oh. Been there for a while…not nice at all..nuh-huh..heartfelt sympathies to u..Dipali is is slightly dementorish…


  6. Cee Kay says:

    Oh yeah – have been there myself. The negativity just sucks the joy and pleasantness out of everything. You are one brave woman, really.

    I don’t know what to say – I was unable to deal with it myself when I lived with “them”.


  7. kiranmanral says:

    Tara: LOL. You guessed right. Tis you. ;D

    Dipali: The word that evaded me-Dementor. Thats what it is. We are living with a Dementor who is dementing us.

    MM: The kitty group doesnt tell her when their next meet is on. The satsang ladies gently avoid. The other oldies in the building gently avoid. The family friends gently avoid.

    RV: Twelve years. Do I deserve a medal or what?

    CeeKay: LOL. No escape for me. Karmic retribution probably. Maybe I was dementor in previous life.


  8. Avanti says:

    Hahaha..I read you woman! Ofcourse in my case it is about the empty nest syndrome and believe it or faint ,how the person in question was ill treated by her own mother-in-law!!…I pray for temporary deafness in such times!!


  9. Big zed says:

    my toxic fumes are currently your backyard. Visiting desh for a month. Currently mind, body and soul are at peace. How about sending yours away to Pune for sometime?


  10. Radha says:

    Hey Kiran,

    I found this blog just yesterday .You rock !

    Have you tired to talk to her as in stay off me types.Sometimes,only straight talk helps.If one has complaints then let her take it to the appropriate forum,read a temple or whatever.I mean, you are not the cause of her troubles so why vitiate your space and mind ? I really wish old people stopped behaving like college students and keep unleashing the ragging on juniors just because someone did it to them. Take care!


  11. Kiran Manral says:

    Avanti: I get that too, sometimes. I guess the baton will be passed.

    Big Zed: Enjoy your break. Am praying for one too. Given that it just happened a month ago, its not going to come too soon.

    Radha: Thanks. I cant. Am not that sort of straight talker. Then I feel sad, you know, whom else will she talk to? And how can I be so rude, and I hope I wont be this bitter bore when I grow old. God knows I;m getting the training for it.


  12. Lively says:

    I could relate to this. I have a colleague who rants n whines on each and everything that happens to her. But the worse was when she whined over an award she got. She started asking me if she was worth it or they just wanted to humiliate her by giving an award. I was like… wtf!
    I can understand what it is to stand those kinds. My sympathies. The only thing that seems to work is, just keep ‘hmmmm’ing to whatever they say without really getting into it.
    BTW I came here thru MM’s blog.


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