The saga of volcanic eruptions

No, no, you dirty mind you, its not what you’re thinking. Its the face. Every square centimetre of which seems to have suddenly decided to erupt huge white tipped pustules, much like the Himalayan range of snow capped peaks. No, not a nice analogy. The Himalayan peaks are cool and pleasant to the eye. These make me want to get into purdah. And strangely enough, it is only the left side of the face that is so afflicted. And painful. Ever felt the throbbing pain of a humungous pimple gathering up pus and bad things under the dermal layer, and becoming invincible to meagre weapons of assault like Acnil and Clearasil and Retino A and all that I might dare apply to quell its intensity. The left side of the face feels like it is on fire. The child looked at me in the night and screamed in horror, seeing the dotted landscape. The anti pimple daubs are working better than any birth control could ever hope to. The husband is keeping an arm and a leg’s length away from me. Maybe this is the solution of all population problems in our country. Ask all the women of fertile reproductive age to put on pimple cream in spots all over their face.

After all this dotting and daubing of remedies and application of multani mutti face packs exotically called koalin earth and rose water combines in green jars from a company that has made a dame of an environmentally conscious beautician, and peel off enzyme masks from humbler companies with no environment consciousness, just a lot of bottomline consciousness, which is also a very relevant consciousness from the point of view of those employed there, the situation doesnt seem to have got much better. This morning I awoke to find two mounds grinning cheekily at me near the temple, and the biting pain that makes me wonder if the entire face is just falling apart.

I now have visual evidence that not only is my mind still stuck at age 16, my face is too. Never mind the body. Maybe, this is a regression that goes downwards and the body will follow suit. Ofcourse, would kill to get back to the sixteen year old self, which in retrospect was divine, compared with the triple stomached, diagonally challenged hipline and gravity inclined bustline one has been reduced to now.

What could be the explanation for such a furious spate of acne encrustations suddenly afflicting my hitherto clear skin? Them polycystic ovaries could be going haywire on some hormonal overload. That could be one. Am not even going to get myself back to the gynaec, have had enough of three holes being poked into self to drill and cauterise them, only to have them sprout right back again. The second explanation could be the very sad situation of being compelled to travel by public transport, in this muggy weather where sweat is pouring by the gallon down from the forehead and congealing in pools in the sockets under the eyes. But then that begs the question, why this preference for the left half of the face. A simpler explanation might be the side I sleep on. But I sleep on my back, and if I am called into put your arm out and hold me (for the offspring not his progenitor, wouldnt have an arm left in the first place, should it have to carry the weight of his head through the night), I turn to my right.

Anyway, having beaten myself to a pulp trying to find explanations and remedies for this strange affliction that seems to be striking me in my middle years, I have given up. And just trying to find a cure for it. So here I am, sitting in the office with daubs of Lacto Calamine dotted all over the left half of my face. I am nothing, if not shameless. And ultra vain. And yes, the stray dogs were yelping in fear and leaping out of my way as I made my way up here. 

If all this fails, might just have to veil that face, and become mysterious and alluring and exotic. And very very scary. Miss Havisham, you think?  

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About Kiran Manral

40 and battling flab, wrinkles and grey hair. Fighting a losing battle with the weighing scale. Living with the two loves of my life, my husband and my son. Serial buffet offender and reformed shopaholic.
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6 Responses to The saga of volcanic eruptions

  1. childwoman says:

    Sometime back I had been in banglore for business for couple of days…I bought some lovely mysore silk sarees for mum and mysore silk kurtis for sil and myself. They were really nice.

    Oh yes, sarees will definitely be on my list. The last I was there, we had been to some wierd place called Chickpet where I was suffocated in a small shop with salesmen sitting on heaps of sarees. dont think will go there again this time.

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  2. childwoman says:

    I am also facing the same problem for pimples. I was never so prone to pimples, but I dont know why this happened now? And its damn irritating to wake up to painful pimple everyday :(
    I am taking the gycolic face peel treatment from Kaya to get rid of the pimple scars.

    Tara: Is it working for you? I swear the only thing working right now for me is white Colgate toothpaste applied thickly.

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  3. Bee says:

    hey..i too have been having recurring strikes of my sweet?! sixteen afflictions…the only thing that is slowly …and oh so drearily…(oh my god…nothing gets me down as the eruption of another goddamn pimple!) working is….3 rounds per day of puttng…cleanser..toner…oil of olay cream…

    also rubbing half a lemon on my face during my bath….

    but i still have so many blemishes…..do u have any remedy for that…i tried kaya once but was money (a lot!) down the already clogged drain…ny creams or lotions or treatments?

    Bee: Cetaphil cleanser. Colgate toothpaste. Acnil soap. Touchwood.

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  4. childwoman says:

    I think rubbing half of lemon is good. Also washing the face with paste of milk and chana ka atta. Do you know that rose petals crushed with butter is good for the skin on the lips? Well, I still have two session left with Kaya…I think it could work out….fingers crossed*

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  5. 1. Since it is only on one side of the face it must be a reaction to something. Some kind of allergy, don’t you think if it was acne/pimples, then it would have been scattered all over the face, on both sides? Did you try avil or cetrizene?
    2. I once had something like this all over my face, I found some kinds of foods (so called garam/hot foods)immediately started these pimples, and once I removed them from my diet, the problem stopped. You could try to avoid these:
    Jaggery – I had suddenly decided to have gur/jaggery when a friend said they are a good source of iron.
    Garam Masala in daily cooking – Just one of those phases, I had started adding lots of whole garam masala.
    Applying turmeric on the face – causes an eruptions the very next day, even now.
    Eggs – Twice a week is fine even now, more than that and I have a pimple to show for it.
    Mangoes – Only if too many are eaten.

    Toothpaste and clincisomething which the kind chemist proferred to me have worked like miracle cures. Am now pustule free.

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  6. 4lorac says:

    could be something you are touching with your hands, do you rest your face in your hand on that side? Son had that problem(he is very vain) and found it was exactly where he would place his hand when on the phone(he is a line supervisor at work and on semi-public phones alot) and was inadvertantly transfferring some kind of yuk to his face. just a thought. I like that someone else uses toothpaste for these, I havent heard that remedy for like eons..works on hickies too if I remember correctly!

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