Your stomach decides to run on its own when your body decides to make a dash for it?
Your toes need the prop of a stool if you need to do some routine maintenance work?
Your son puts his head on your stomach and says soft pillow.
Your husband never puts his head on your stomach anymore and instead asks, when do you plan on actually using the gym membership I shelled out good money on?
Your wardrobe has expanded from L to XL so insidiously that you didnt even realise the shift had happened, and the XL fat family had settled in firmly, with their paintings on the wall of your abdominal cavity.
You realise you dont need to touch up your grey roots at the hairline anymore, rather you need to dunk your entire head in the dye bowl.
And wonder how can dye be put up your nostrils to dye nostril hair.
When your arms wave out to people on their own in complete synchronicity with your palms doing said waving action.
When you see hot hunk smiling at you in mall, only to realise he’s grinning because your zip on your jeans has given way under stress levels.
When you actually try on blouses from your wedding trousseau and sheesh at the matchstick arms you had back then.
When your best friends look you up and down when they meet you and then finally settle on, “Your hair is looking nice today.”
When you look in the mirror and see the smile that refuses to fade and the lines that girdle your neck and wonder whether you can muster up the courage to visit the plastic surgeon. Or should you grow old ungracefully.
You see a friend from college who is bloated and damaged from living beyond recognition, and she smiles and tells you you look just the same?