There are plenty of trolleys to go around. Or is this particular one your super duper triple special extra lucky trolley with the magical ability of wheeling you to the best bargains in store?
The aisle is meant for free passage of shoppers trying to stock up their trolleys with required groceries and non essentials like namkeen and chocolates. Not, I would like to inform you, as the chosen meeting ground for you and your long lost friend from the neighbourhood to have an extended gossip session with your two trolleys firmly blocking any chance of movement.
When I say ‘Excuse me,” politely and firmly, it means move your ass and your trolley now, I need to pass, not turn around haughtily, look at me up and down and continue to bend on your arthritic haunches checking the bottom most shelf for comparitives on pricing of varieties of garbage bags.
Do not smirk at the amount of chocolates and other such sweet stuff in my trolley as you past. You might be reed thin, and your trolley might be bursting with probiotic yoghurt and organic produce, but I am the one going to die happy and sated with the contentment of having indulged that sweet tooth to my heart’s content.
The couple that shopped walking together in spoon fashion with their trolley in front of them, and with stick insect male version of man nuzzling stick insect female version of woman’s neck, please spare us the horror. Find yourself a deserted beach or a room.
Did you really truly and completely take the time, effort and energy to coordinate your eyeshadow, nailpolish, bag, clothes, sunglasses and shoes, just to come grocery shopping. And is that mascara I see on your eyes. Oh, you’re a television actress? Maybe you ran away straight from the shoot.
Oh you cutie cute newly weds shopping together for the first time I think for your monthly provisions, donot start your married life haggling over brands. Surf is as good as Ariel, and doesnt matter if your mother used Surf. Or shop separately, with two shopping lists.
Do you really need so much toilet paper. So much?
Dont look over the contents of my trolley as the girl scans them. Its rude. Am I asking for your age and your salary?
Yes, yes, I need to compare prices. I need to crawl all over the shelves, do you mind waiting a second while I pick what I need without breathing down my neck.
The happy hippo family that shopped together the other day and caused unmentionable aisle congestion. Do let me know when you plan going shopping next, with date and time and grocery list. I will make sure I pick another day or another aisle.
And as for the wuss who whumped me hard in the back of my knees with his trolley and continued yelling into his Blue tooth without even a flicker of an apology, you’re lucky. You got saved by the fact that I had a child to chase through aisles. Or you would have been skinned and your pelt hung to dry in the frozen meats section.