The lights were put up yesterday. Yes, it was a bit early in the day, considering every single home in the complex had been blazing blinking and discolighting for the past week. So there was I, and many lines of mirchilights, and a curious child who insisted on “hepping” me, and succeeding brilliantly in making me fall on my face, tripping over various lines on at least three occassions inadvertently and two occasions deliberately keeping in mind the hyuck hyucking of delight that ensued promptly the moment the butt connected with floor tile.
First one discovered one needed things called extension cords. Many of them. Therefore hapless driver was despatched in blazing sun to bring them from electrical shop. No doubt he went down, snarled a bit, took his afternoon nap and returned because it was sunset by the time, so one tripped over more wires, given that one has slimily removed all the bulbs from the balconies to prevent the spouse from growing roots in the sofas kept in said balconies.
Then one stood with hands on the hips and ordered lackey to roll the lines with mirchi bulbs around railings which he did to inexact specifications. Then anal moi threw hopping on the floor tantrums and realigned every roll to one micromilletre of perfection and discovered the damn lights which worked perfectly in the store when one bought them, refused to light up, despite one going down on hands and knees and grovelling before them.
Where was the husband, you ask, when the wife was doing all these tasks which are a man’s domain? Doing manlier things like drinking beer and watching Mission Impossible and therefore refusing to haul his butt out of comfy sofa which he has already indented to grand Canyon levels. God bless his cute butt.
Then once the lights were wound around along the entire length of the five balconies, one discovered the genius helping me he had wound it the wrong way, which meant the plugs came at an end which was kilometers away from any plug point and I would need to plug in extension boards end to end to make this work. And then it was decided to unwind said wires and rewind them in the opposite direction. To imagine this, you, kind reader, should be able to visualise the house which is in train compartment format with all balconies and dry areas running in single file facing westwards. Therefore much winding and unwinding happened. By which time, it was time for dinner. The main socket board was connected to wire plugs via friendly extension boards and voila, the hired help flicked the switch on, the lights lit up and twinkled and he was dismissed.
As the door closed behind him, the lights went off again. I ran shrieking to the balcony bearing extension board to find plug slipped out. Matchsticks were pressed into service and the lights came on again. By which time, it was time to sleep. And the child grumbled furiously about so bright cannot sleep and such like. So, the lights had to be switched off. And given the brilliant brainwave of connecting them through a single plug, all the lights were off simultaneously to the backdrop chorals of the grandmother grumbling about the inauspiciousness of it all, but ready to wrestle with inauspiciousness for the sleeping comfort of the beloved grandchild. Today will make the critter wear an eye mask.
Happy Diwali to you too!