The fake LV and me…

lvmonogram-galliera-pm1So it hangs on my arm, finally. Thanks to Rohini, (Mwah, mwah, girl!), I finally got my hands on a real China fake LV monogrammed shoulder sling. And as you can well imagine, I’ve been overjoyed. Yup. With the fake. Now that I’ve had it on my shoulder for two weeks, I’ve ceased to feel self conscious about it being the fake. I mean, I’ve carried fakes for years. I’ve had a D&G fake. No, make that two. I’ve had a really nice fake Versace complete with nice metallic Medusa head in gold, appropriate for feasting eyes on after donning protective eye gear. I have currently a fake Bottega which has sadly unravelled, a fake Jimmy Choo, a fake Prada, a fake Fendi and curiously enough, two original ones from Guess (Yep, I heard that snigger. Yep. Was loud and clear.) And many original Esbedas. And countless bags off the streets of Lokhandwala. All stuff which is use and throw. And all original rasta stuff.

A quick recce of the recesses of my bag wardrobe makes it abundantly clear that my bags are faker than Pamela Andersen. Which makes up for the rest of me which is all real. Yup, that little bulge you see there, above the waistband of the jeans, that is all real. All 100 per cent unadulterated fat. I have enough fat for autologous transplants to get me to 42 DD if I wish.

But let me not get greedy. No, no, I’m not wanting to topple over and fall down with the imbalance, but the bag situation is what I am talking about. The greed is now sated. And now that I am doine with the pleasure  of  toting around a LV monogrammed number, the desire to invest my life savings in an original has disappeared completely. I would rather save my fillings for better purposes. I would rather sell them to pay for more fillings, seeing as the teeth are on the point of all falling out in unison.

Seeing as each tooth will cost me as much as a Gucci bag on half price sale, I might as well smile broadly, end to end, when I meet people. Can teeth be a status symbol?

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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12 Responses to The fake LV and me…

  1. Rohini says:

    Glad you liked it. You still owe me my assisted shopping trip 🙂

    Like

  2. Payal says:

    I think even if I buy an original LV most people would not be able to differentiate between a fake and original..somehow that fear grips me more..what if I do spend my life’s savings on a Prada or LV and everyone thinks its fake!!

    Like

  3. Abha says:

    imagine all gold teeth!!! just add some gold chains and yeah! a status symbol alright! :p

    Like

  4. D says:

    I’ve been looking for a fake LV so long, it just isn’t fair!

    Like

  5. M says:

    Ah the joys of a fake LV – I own one “original” from China as well…Fake Bottega? Where from? Please? Pretty please, with a cherry on top? Hopefully Bombay, so I can ask SIL to get me one! 😀

    M

    Like

  6. Anamika says:

    With M above…please please spill some details. Mom’s arriving from Bombay in less than a month. I can coax her some 😀

    Like

  7. Kiran Manral says:

    Ro: Anytime girl, name the day and will be there, hair in a braid.

    Abha: Yeah, and I can save on switching on the lights at night too.

    D: 🙂

    M, Anamika: Rohini is the babe. She had it ordered via a kind friend. But the Oberoi shopping arcade I am told is pretty kind. As is a shop called Ashoka in Lokhandwala market, where I normally source mine. And Hum India.

    Like

  8. M says:

    Thank you O Gracious One….we’re (the royal We) are familiar with the Oberoi Arcade place, but apparently after the attacks, the owner of the purse store that the SIL favors has gone to his gaon and not returned so far – she shall be dispatched instead to Lokhandwala immediately
    🙂

    M

    Like

  9. Anchal says:

    there is no pictures in your blog!

    Like

  10. Gayatri says:

    I have to meet you when I next be in Bbay. And you must take me shopping…pleeeees!

    Like

  11. Rachita Masand says:

    Hi…Any idea where can I get LV knock-off now….its 2013…I have gone to all nooks and corners of Lokhandwala couldn’t find LV…all branded knock-off still available….pls suggest…. thanks

    Like

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