Crunches and munches

I sat down the other day to find my stomach demanding a chair of its own. Now, whatever the wall to wall situation of the hips, my stomach, even post C-sec, has been a well behaved stomach and allows me, in standing position to get a view of my toes. If I cheated and peered over the lungs, of course. The silhouette too, is presentable, never mind if the butt is the perfect kind that a Victorian woman would throw her hoops away for, them hoops being rendered redundant in face of such spillage and rapid fire expansion that would delight a cannibalisitic society hunting for dinner.

Therefore, when the stomach protested violently at being denied a chair of its own I looked down in shock. And stood up. Threw shoulders back. And pulled stomach in. There, I looked at self in the non reflective glass that makes up the cabin of the tiny office one works out of.  Yup. There is definitely a *gasp gasp* paunch. Nope. I am not PMSing. This is not water retention bloat, though I can explain it away shamefacedly in said fashion. This is a true blue, wobbly jiggly dyed in the cellulite paunch.

I ran shrieking to another mirror and checked out self with squinted eyes. Yup. Paunch. The horror. The horror. I must lie down and do them crunches. And leg lifts. And get back to walking as much as them legs permit. Or I can pretend I’m morbidly pre menstrual. Yup. Water retention is a terrible terrible thing. And I have the mood swings as mandated to validate that excuse.

Quick tips to rid self of paunch solicited. Nothing that involves exercising will be considered.


About Kiran Manral

Kiran Manral published her first book, The Reluctant Detective in 2011. Since then, she has published nine books across genres till date. Her books include romance and chicklit with Once Upon A Crush (2014), All Aboard (2015), Saving Maya (2017); horror with The Face at the Window (2016), psychological thriller with Missing, Presumed Dead (2018) and nonfiction with Karmic Kids (2015), A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up (2016) and True Love Stories (2017). Her short stories have been published on Juggernaut, in magazines like Verve and Cosmopolitan, and have been part of anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul, Have a Safe Journey (2017) and Boo (2017). Her articles and columns have appeared in the Times of India, Tehelka, DNA, Yowoto, Shethepeople, New Woman, Femina, Verve, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Conde Nast Traveller, DB Post, The Telegraph, the Asian Age, iDiva, TheDailyO and more. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards 2017 for Literary Contribution. In 2018, she was awarded the International Women's Day award for literary excellence by ICUNR and Ministry of Women and Children, Government of India. She is a TEDx speaker and a mentor with Vital Voices Global Mentoring Walk 2017.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Crunches and munches

  1. Dhiren says:


    recently my bro in law gifted me a short t-shirt… the moment i saw it i felt… that is too young.. i am young but not so young.. i sportily wore it and showed to all and they thought i looked nice… than i went back in the bedroom and let out the breath that i held back and it wasnt looking so nice… however that is a secret well kept !! lol…


  2. v says:

    Oh that is just PMS, and I too have that kind of PMS. Lasts all month long. Sometimes its pre, sometimes its post. 🙂


  3. Diet and crunches work together. Just one at a time, dosent work for me.


  4. Aathira says:

    I have baggage added to my cheeks, arms and stomach every bloody month. Its painful to wait along for it to disappear!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s