Crunches and munches

I sat down the other day to find my stomach demanding a chair of its own. Now, whatever the wall to wall situation of the hips, my stomach, even post C-sec, has been a well behaved stomach and allows me, in standing position to get a view of my toes. If I cheated and peered over the lungs, of course. The silhouette too, is presentable, never mind if the butt is the perfect kind that a Victorian woman would throw her hoops away for, them hoops being rendered redundant in face of such spillage and rapid fire expansion that would delight a cannibalisitic society hunting for dinner.

Therefore, when the stomach protested violently at being denied a chair of its own I looked down in shock. And stood up. Threw shoulders back. And pulled stomach in. There, I looked at self in the non reflective glass that makes up the cabin of the tiny office one works out of.  Yup. There is definitely a *gasp gasp* paunch. Nope. I am not PMSing. This is not water retention bloat, though I can explain it away shamefacedly in said fashion. This is a true blue, wobbly jiggly dyed in the cellulite paunch.

I ran shrieking to another mirror and checked out self with squinted eyes. Yup. Paunch. The horror. The horror. I must lie down and do them crunches. And leg lifts. And get back to walking as much as them legs permit. Or I can pretend I’m morbidly pre menstrual. Yup. Water retention is a terrible terrible thing. And I have the mood swings as mandated to validate that excuse.

Quick tips to rid self of paunch solicited. Nothing that involves exercising will be considered.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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5 Responses to Crunches and munches

  1. Dhiren says:

    lol…

    recently my bro in law gifted me a short t-shirt… the moment i saw it i felt… that is too young.. i am young but not so young.. i sportily wore it and showed to all and they thought i looked nice… than i went back in the bedroom and let out the breath that i held back and it wasnt looking so nice… however that is a secret well kept !! lol…

    Like

  2. v says:

    Oh that is just PMS, and I too have that kind of PMS. Lasts all month long. Sometimes its pre, sometimes its post. 🙂

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  3. Diet and crunches work together. Just one at a time, dosent work for me.

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  4. Aathira says:

    I have baggage added to my cheeks, arms and stomach every bloody month. Its painful to wait along for it to disappear!

    Like

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