I wish I could get a magic eraser and rub the wrinkles from your forehead and the perma frown lines between your brows. I wish I could put your head on my shoulder and let you break down for a moment, and not have to be the strong man bearing the burdens of the world. I wish I could take a eraser and rub out the horrors of the past month and make things happy again.
I wish I could tell you that a limb with gangrene needs to be cut off mercilessly and not treated with a regular swab of antiseptic. I wish I could hold your hand and tell you things will get better. I wish could know for certain when things will get better. I know you dont deserve this, but I am so very proud of you and your strength and courage and unflinching determined loyalty towards those who deserve nothing but the most scathing contempt.
I would be blessed if my son grows up with one tenth the loyalty and devotion you have. I am blessed to be married to you.
I wish I could hold you and calm you down when your face turns red with anger and the nerve in your cheek twitches.
I wish I could take your pain away when you have to beg and plead and grovel for favours when you have led a life of steadfastness and honesty and uprighteousness. I wish I could wash your eyes of their now constant look of haunted misery.
I am only so strong. I cant be strong anymore. It is you who is stronger. And a fighter. I quit easily. I am scared I will quit soon. I cant take it anymore.
You teach me what it means to be a rock. Be my rock. Give me faith.