To my dear husband…

I wish I could get a magic eraser and rub the wrinkles from your forehead and the perma frown lines between your brows. I wish I could put your head on my shoulder and let you break down for a moment, and not have to be the strong man bearing the burdens of the world. I wish I could take a eraser and rub out the horrors of the past month and make things happy again.

I wish I could tell you that a limb with gangrene needs to be cut off mercilessly and not treated with a regular swab of antiseptic. I wish I could hold your hand and tell you things will get better. I wish could know for certain when things will get better. I know you dont deserve this, but I am so very proud of you and your strength and courage and unflinching determined loyalty towards those who deserve nothing but the most scathing contempt.

I would be blessed if my son grows up with one tenth the loyalty and devotion you have. I am blessed to be married to you.

I wish I could hold you and calm you down when your face turns red with anger and the nerve in your cheek twitches.

I wish I could take your pain away when you have to beg and plead and grovel for favours when you have led a life of steadfastness and honesty and uprighteousness. I wish I could wash your eyes of their now constant look of haunted misery.

I am only so strong. I cant be strong anymore. It is you who is stronger. And a fighter. I quit easily. I am scared I will quit soon. I cant take it anymore.

You teach me what it means to be a rock. Be my rock. Give me faith.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

58 Responses to To my dear husband…

  1. hey kiran
    hugs and hugs

    Like

  2. myamusingmind says:

    Hugs to you 😦

    Like

  3. Poppy says:

    Hey Kiran,
    Gosh I don’t even know what it is about, but I feel for you. Sending calm, peace and very good vibes your way.

    HUGS !

    Like

  4. Childwoman says:

    It will be okay Kiran. Keep the faith. Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Hugs

    CW

    Like

  5. JLT says:

    Hang on in there… Hugs!

    Like

  6. divs says:

    Quite a touching post…am not sure what happened that made you write this but my good wishes and prayers are with you and your family.

    Divya

    Like

  7. Cee Kay says:

    Oh darling. HIGS! I wish I could deliver one in person. I wish I could make your husband read this. I wish he’d understand what you mean. Maybe he does, but just cannot act that way because he is so fiercely loyal.

    HIGS. And HUGS too!

    Like

  8. blinkandmiss says:

    Hope your husband finds some solace. It is hard to stand by helplessly as he takes his own time to recover, to sort things out. Hugs!

    Like

  9. Jyothy says:

    Kiran,

    I hope whatever it is that caused you and your hubby so much grief has passed.
    I feel for you.Hope you overcome the bad phase with your
    awesome sense of humour and aer back to your happy self soon.

    Like

  10. CA says:

    This post really made me sad Kiran … really not sure how bad it is for you guys .. I will send out prayers for you.

    Like

  11. thetaamommy says:

    Breaks my heart to see you. Hope everything has passed by now. Sending prayers your way

    Like

  12. Dottie says:

    Hugs Kiran. This is heart breaking.

    Like

  13. Suki says:

    Big hugs and prayers, K and K. And K. (Ok, could not resist, love that all three of your names start with K!)

    I hate this feeling, standing by helplessly and being able to do absolutely nothing except offer a hug. And knowing that they have to learn it the hard way. Hurts hurts hurts.
    And who are you to say you aren’t a fighter? You’re the one who made it through your childhood, topped college, AND brought Krish to where he is now over the past four years and more. Yes, I know it’s hard to be a rock when your rock breaks down. But for a while, hang in there. We’re here with you.
    Hugs again.

    Like

  14. Gigi says:

    Hang in there! You are doing the best you can by being his source of strength. This too shall pass.

    Like

  15. soya says:

    Trust yourself. I have always beleived that once you hit rock bottom – the only way to go is up..just that at times that process takes way too long. Nothing remains the same. And if things could only get worse and all of us lost hope – there would’nt be a lot of people left alive. Give it time. Smile. Look inside you – you are strong …recognize that strength.

    Like

  16. mommyof2 says:

    hugs.. even though its very hard at a time when you are feeling down but think positive.. atleast you have each other and you can face anything together with the love I can sense from your post. You will be in my prayers..

    Like

  17. dipali says:

    My prayers for strength for both of you.

    Like

  18. Bhavna says:

    Kiran,
    Is all well? Lots of good wishes coming from here..life will recover, u know that,

    Like

  19. PVS says:

    my prayers for you and your family Kiran.

    Like

  20. Kiran Manral says:

    @all: Overwhelmed completely with the calls, the mails, the smses and the comments. Pray hard okay, for us, that we emerge from this stronger and as a unit.

    Like

  21. Lakshmi says:

    Babe, sweetie, Hugs ok? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG ONES. I wish I could say, do something better. But am left speechless after reading that. I hope, pray that whatever it is that is causing you grief, passes, and passes very soon. Till then, please take care of yourself and yours

    Like

  22. WSW says:

    Hugs…and things will look up again..be strong

    delurking after a year of reading each every one of your posts.

    Like

  23. preetischronicle says:

    All will be well soon. take care. *hugs*

    Like

  24. Shivani says:

    Kiran & all at home,

    I hope whatever it is, passes in a blink. From what I’ve read of you, you’re a tremendous woman & you’ll tide over the crisis sooner than you think.
    Sending loads of positive vibes your way

    🙂

    Like

  25. DC says:

    long time reader…

    Kiran, please think positive and keep the faith. I know it is soo much easier said than done. But I sincerely wish whatever it is that is troubling you, disappears and happiness and good health prevails soon.

    Like

  26. sscribbles says:

    hugs and prayers,K. You guys are pretty strong and would come out of this soon. For remember there is a rainbow after every rain.

    Like

  27. OrbitBud says:

    Oh dear milady. Big hugs and lots and lots of prayers and good wishes.
    Does your husband read your blog ?

    Like

  28. anna says:

    dear kiran,we are with you. and praying and sending goodwill. hope this phase finishes fast. be strong. hang in there. god bless.

    Like

  29. Madhulika says:

    Hang in there, hons! i know how it feels – to see someone u love in misery! Everything will be ok!

    Like

  30. V says:

    Kiran,
    Tough people last,not tough times!
    Keep the faith!

    Like

  31. M...... says:

    Delurking like after forever…. Your family shall be in my prayers. I hope it passes ASAP!

    Like

  32. Chips says:

    Hope you both are able to work through whatever is bothering you. Good Luck!

    Like

  33. Sonia says:

    Oh man! I will pray for you and your family Kiran. Good Luck !! Bad times dont stay forever so this too shall pass !

    Like

  34. Sue says:

    Love, to you both. It has to get better, it will.

    Like

  35. Abha says:

    no idea what this is, but you are one helluva woman! hang in there and this too shall pass!

    hugs

    Like

  36. leslielinda says:

    May God grant you strength for all of these tribulations. I pray for miracles and healing on your beloved husband. Take care! Never lose hope. 🙂 Nabs

    Like

  37. Nitya Karthik says:

    Oh K I hope things are looking better now? U hang in there ok? It WILL get much better and soon at that.

    *hugs*

    Like

  38. Veena says:

    Hope everything turns out just fine.
    Veena

    Like

  39. Kiran Manral says:

    @all: Thanks. Taking a short break.

    Like

  40. CD says:

    Best wishes and thoughts to you.

    Like

  41. manisha says:

    sending peace, love and calm your way. may there be happy times soon and for always in your family.

    Like

  42. tearsndreams says:

    I cant believe it.
    Is this you:
    http://2writeornot2write.wordpress.com/
    If not, you have been plagiarized dear friend.
    I don’t know if you will get to read the post so here it is:
    I wish I could get a magic eraser and rub the wrinkles from your forehead and the perma frown lines between your brows. I wish I could put your head on my shoulder and let you break down for a moment, and not have to be the strong man bearing the burdens of the world. I wish I could take a eraser and rub out the horrors of the past month and make things happy again.

    I wish I could hold your hand and tell you things will get better. I wish could know for certain when things will get better. I know you dont deserve this, but I am so very proud of you and your strength and courage and unflinching determined loyalty towards those who deserve nothing but the most scathing contempt.

    I would be blessed if my son grows up with one tenth the loyalty and devotion you have. I am blessed that I have you in my life.

    I wish I could hold you and calm you down when your face turns red with anger and the nerve in your cheek twitches.

    I wish I could take your pain away when you have to beg and plead and grovel for favours when you have led a life of steadfastness and honesty and uprighteousness. I wish I could wash your eyes of their now constant look of haunted misery.

    I am only so strong. I cant be strong anymore. It is you who is stronger. And a fighter. I quit easily. I am scared I will quit soon. I cant take it anymore.

    You teach me what it means to be a rock. Be my rock. Give me faith.

    Like

  43. Pingback: And I have been plagiarised… « Thirtysix and counting

  44. Kiran Manral says:

    Tearsndreams: Thanks for letting me know…Of course, the comments informing her that the world now knows that she’s shamelessly flicked the post have not been published…

    Like

  45. Hugs, Kiran. Hope things are all better now. I must have missed this one when I was hibernating.

    Like

  46. Parul says:

    What a nakalchi bandar! People are so weird.

    Like

  47. Pingback: Shame, shame, puppy shame « The Mad Momma

  48. Swaram says:

    That’s RIDICULOUS. I still can’t believe someone can do that; falling down to such low levels n that too in the blog world where she knows she can’t get away with it. Does she atleast have something called a conscience? I can’t believe she is accepting comments as though in all her humility.

    BTW, this is so touching. Been visiting ur blog but commenting for the first time. Lotz of gud wishes cmg ur way 🙂

    Like

  49. Tara says:

    Hi there,
    MM’s shame shame post brought me here (first timer) but have read your comments often in the blogosphere. Whatever is the matter of concern that side, pls accept the hugs, good wishes and prayers coming your way.
    I can somewhat relate to your feelings for i went through such feelings last year when my dad, an active air force personnel got a severe attach due to nerves getting pressed in the lower spine and i couldn’t see him loosing hope that he will get back on his foot. HE is much better today and has got back to work. A positive approach and not loosing hope plays an important role at times.

    please cheer up.. someone needs to see you strong and smiling!!

    Like

  50. mummyjaan says:

    Aww, babe, whatever trouble it is, I hope it passes soon. Indeed, I hope that it *has* already passed.

    Love, and prayers,
    Mummyjaan

    Like

  51. Anita says:

    Hello Kiran, came here from MM’s space.
    Sending positive thoughts your way to help you deal with whatever it is. Prayers and best wishes.

    Like

  52. Shilpa says:

    Wishing you and your family all the luck to get through this. It will pass too!

    Like

    • Better late than never! Since I’ve already read about your plans to escape to Goa, I trust all’s well in the Manral family!
      Great 🙂

      Your husband’s lucky to have you as a wife! If you can say such comforting words knowing he won’t read this, I’m sure you’ve said just the right words in person!
      Nothing better than heart-felt, genuine words!

      Like

  53. Subhashree says:

    Aww… Lady K, came in late as usual. Hugs. I hope things are already better now that you must be in Goa sun-bathing, but still this post made me feel for you. Take care. Trust God.

    Like

  54. Mampi says:

    salutes to you both…

    Like

  55. thethoughtfultrain says:

    That sounds so deep… I hope and pray whatever it is that is bogging the two of you go away and Joy comes in as soon as possible! Great writing!!

    Like

  56. Sriram says:

    first time here.

    i hope you and your family have passed the difficult period. best wishes 🙂

    Yes, we have. Thank you for your wishes.

    Like

  57. Deepa says:

    I am a very old reader of your blog and have never commented. I am so sorry dear, I hope god gives you and your husband to tide over this difficult time. Prayers for you and your family.

    Like

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