The Times of India today tells me that I need to chug down my beer if I want my bones to stay in one piece. This is heartening news indeed. Given a choice between a mug of milk and a mug of beer, there isnt even a debate on what would win hands down, and this despite the fact that the only time I have ever sipped at beer from the spouse’s mug, I have spat it right back in said mug. Yes, I am not a girl who likes her beer. I am a girl who likes her milk even less, and given that them polycystic ovaries have already given me a moustache of my own, I dont even need the excuse of a milk moustache as plugged in the fancy Got Milk ads, which tried earnestly to make me believe that I could get a body as toned as the one sporting the said milk moustache if I only guzzled down a couple of glasses of milk a day. And then all sorts of scary research conducted by them scientist types in labcoats and dingy labs, incarcerated there until they came up with one scary fact that caused every regular woman out there to hyperventilate when said research emerged in three column feature in daily newspaper, talking about how one had to drink the equivalent of a cows daily production of milk raw (okay, I made that up, but you get my drift) or some such thing in order to have bones that didnt disintegrate like the chalk my class seven teacher flung at me when I was staring out of the window rather than listen google eyed at her expanding profoundly on some string theory like algebraic equation, where I gave up listening after the first a was put into a bracket with little numbers put up in the right hand corner outside the bracket.
Anyway. This is one good piece of research that has come out of labs for a very long time. I quote, “The high level of silicon in beer actually slows down the thinning that leads to fractures and boosts the formation of new bone, Nature Journal reports.”
I’m wondering that the silicon implants that most of the women bouncing around in Bollywood sport could also be roped into double duty. You know. Increase their vital assets and boost their new bone formation. Given the amount of silicon being pumped in, one would think they would need an extended ribcage to keep it all in place.
Seriously though, anything that gives me an alternative to the two glasses of milk a day is welcome. I do drink my two glasses of milk a day. Diligently. I’m building up my calcium bank. Did a scary piece of research where kind doctors informed me that girls in their teens were fractures waiting to happen because their calcium intake was so very low. And these are all girls who would probably fly away into the stratosphere should their dates ever try any heavy breathing near them. Of course, there is no danger of that with me. My man could get a pair of ironsmith bellows and I will still be worthy of qualifying for ship anchor position.
The article also says, and I quote, “Beer is also rich in phytoestrogens, (God bless their souls whoever they may be), plant versions of estrogen which keep the bones healthy.”
The good news, even a pint of beer a day is good to keep bone health going. Maybe the mother was into this research before the results were made public. She’s been putting down a light every alternate day. And yes, her bones seem fine. Now, if only I could get a bit past my gullet, I would have the strongest bones I could ever need. And damn the milk.