Be scared, be very scared…

While randomly browsing through the many generic homepages on the net in a bid to get no work done this morning, I came across this piece of worthy research as cut pasted below, and felt my heart skip a beat. Many beats to be precise. It then started the kind of hyperventilation that would need many puffs of nicotine to stabilise, if I did nicotine. Or many cups of black coffee. If I did coffee. Since I dont smoke nor drink coffee nor tea nor alcohol (notice how I manage to broadcast my virtues in completely unrelated topic), I had to chant. Be calm. Be Zen. Be calm. Be Zen.

I then ran to the husband and gave him the critical once over. He noticed the once over, and hastily daubed his chin with his handkerchief in the event of remnants of breakfast still loitering around in the vicinity. I didnt notice that. I was looking for more critical clues. Does he look married, I asked myself. He doesnt wear a wedding ring or any other symbols of marriage to be sure. Which I quite bristled over at one point, but in retrospect realised he was just being smart and keeping himself looking unmarried so that single girls wont hit on him. What a considerate man! If you just minus the harrassed look, the pleasant rotundity, the constant air of distraction and the ability to tune out when I speak to him, he could almost pass for a singleton.

Drastic action is called for to protect one’s turf. Read this research. It says single women are more likely to hit on married men than on single men. I can just see all the women out there divesting their husbands of their wedding rings and swearing them to solemn secrecy about their marital status when accosted by single women on the prowl. All baby and wife photographs have to go from the wallet. The men should be merry and ready to go partying at the drop of a hat rather than decline politely and say, “No, I promised my sonย I would play cricket with him this evening.” Or worse, “The wife and I have to go grocery shopping.” I can just see them single women saying here’s my kind of committed, dedicated family man, and truss him up with a rope and lure him into a relationship, one which might or might not continue with the promise of bondage it started out with.

Read on:

Women like to target men who are already in relationships

London, August 14 (ANI): A scientific study has found evidence that women like to target men who are already in relationships.

Researchers at Oklahoma State University in the US use the term ‘mate poaching’ to describe this phenomenon.

During the study, they showed a picture of a moderately attractive man or woman to participants.

Half of the participants were told that the prospective mate was single, while the rest were told that they were not.

Researchers Dr Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker observed that 90 per cent of the women participants were interested in a man when told that he was in a relationship, compared to 59 per cent when told the same man was single.

“This finding indicates that single women are considerably more interested in pursuing a man who is less available to them,” the Telegraph quoted them as concluding.

“This may be because a man who is attached has already shown his ability to commit and, in a sense, has been pre-screened by another woman,” they added.

The researchers also noted that men, on the other hand, expressed no preference about whether a woman was in a relationship or not.

“The results showed that only single women were more interested in pursuing an attached target rather than a single target,” they said.

A research article describing the study has been published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. (ANI)

On the flip, one would advise the poor sods who have been hunting heaven and earth for suitable spouses to slip on a fake wedding ring and look stressed and murmur irritably into the phone, “I’m in a meeting, I’ll call you back,” and shrug apologetically, saying “The wife,” when around attractive prospectives. And talk long and in detail about potty training a toddler, or the right way to burp an infant. Or siddle out of meetings half way through saying they had promised the wife they would go out for dinner today, and would be dismembered if they failed to keep said promise. Guaranteed, them hot babes will be milling around them like a wolf pack to the kill. As for my man, I’m telling him to go to the gym and lose all that paunch of contentment. It only makes him more of a babe magnet. The moment he gets all six packed, and sleek, I can sit back and heave a sigh of relief.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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10 Responses to Be scared, be very scared…

  1. sraikh says:

    rofl. These studies are going to drive one crazy. Did you read TIME’s one, where it says that Exercise makes you FAT!

    Seriously!

    Like

  2. dipali says:

    Such fun, all these weird studies!
    Now I’d better get my old man in better shape. He doesn’t wear wedding or any rings, so that’s okay!

    Like

  3. Meira says:

    So that’s my my brother in law hasn’t been able to find himself a girl. All the women are after his brother! Hmpf!

    Like

  4. heheh you are a riot with these posts..too good ๐Ÿ˜€
    god bless you and your family

    Like

  5. Bhavna says:

    Kiran,

    An absolute riotous post. Dont drive yourself too mad…if he has a wife like you, he’s not gonna go anywhere- if your writing is like this, imagine what you would do to the potential other woman! Nah- the poor hubby knows better

    Like

  6. seeseebeehomestead says:

    Love this hilarious post kiran. The survey might be true seeing so many such things happening around my neighbourhood (happenning to desi guys) .

    I am hopelessly addicted to your blog : ). Love this blog. mwah

    CS

    Like

  7. kenny says:

    this is for moderately attractive men, not our handsome hunks. i am not worried. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  8. jaya says:

    i totally agree with the article, single women find married men attractive

    Like

  9. Kiran Manral says:

    sraikh: I knew that you know. Which is why I stopped exercising and am staying svelte. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Dipali: Your old man is not looking anywhere but straight at you. Dont you strees.

    Meira: Now you know. Interchange the rings when they meet next.

    Aniruddha Pathak: : )

    Bhavna: No,no, If Brad Pitt can give the nanny a back rub, what hope do I have??? He’s got a Jolie.

    Kenny: You give me hope.

    Jaya: *shivers* The man so has to get his six pack back.

    Like

  10. Anamika says:

    Kiran,

    Not related to this topic, but i read this article and thought about you …
    No .. NO .. u r not fat..
    only that u write so much about buffets ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The article addresses a different topic, but the points in this can be considered as โ€œwhat not to do in a buffet ;-)โ€

    http://voices.washingtonpost.com/checkup/2009/08/the_seven_secrets_of_highly_ob.html

    Like

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