The President of the Happy Club of general layabouts (head office in a coffin shop) is, in true Bollywood tradition started by Salman Khan, a Prem. His girl, in untrue Bollywood tradition, as started by Lakshmi from Julie, is a Jenny. But Jenny is not actually Prem’s girl. He only thinks she is. She is actually in love with a rubber lipped block of wood called, in true Bollywood tradition set by Shah Rukh Khan, Rahul.
To make up for Rubber Lips’ terrible terrible dialogue delivery Prem and Jenny both are stress-stammerers. A nice moment with Sallu-bhai gave the female audience momentary eye candy, given that neither Ranbir Kapoor nor Upen Patel aka Rubber Lips fall into that category. Terribly unfair, given that the male section of the audience was sitting with their tongues hanging to their waists everytime Katrina Kaif waltzed onto screen all perky and bubbly and oh-so-cute. Except for the Tu Jaane Na song, where fire hydrants had to be brought into the theatre to douse overheated brains and other body parts. Which of course, didnt affect me, because I had seized the opportunity to educate the child on the Grecian pillars and amphitheatres of yore around which the song was picturised on, when all he was interested was the jacket that the Kapoor was wearing.
The film was otherwise set in a nice hillside town which is named after some Wellington one presumes as the sutradhar of the movie, crow shit on back et al, is the statue of a Lord Wellington, who has a real bad attitude after all those years of being a recepient for crow droppings.
Somewhere in the middle of all this confusion is a lot of non veg eating which had me glued to my seat, and mopping the drool off my chin. The scene where the Prem piles his plate with ever carnivorous item available at a buffet almost had me jumping over heads before me and running into the screen. And the sudden appearance of a politician and an out of work don, and a ridiculous final action sequence, which has the bad guys jumping in synchronisation in and out of a electric pool for no apparent reason, and with no real damage done to them.
And wondering why the Jenny only wore yellow and white through the movie. And why the Peter the Jenny was being forced to marry or bed, looked like an extended version of the yesteryear character actor Lilliput. And how in the most incredible chase sequence, a driver in a Charlie Chaplin get up and a bride in complete wedding gown could manage a complete dress and make up change while still on a motorcycle. And the fact that Jesus, avec lamb et al, driving a pick up, conveniently offers our hero a ride to the nearest church. But these are not questions that are meant to be answered. These are questions that one is not supposed to ask in the first place.
Thankfully, I was saved from voicing these questions aloud to the general theatre going public and marching into the ticket window and demanding my money back, by the fact the child was literally rolling on the floor laughing.
That to me was the paisa vasool value of the movie.
And some newfound respect for Ranbir Kapoor who, despite the awful awful storyline and some truly inane gags, managed to make one actually sit through the entire film, and wait till the end credits roll.
And the next time I want inane comedy, am gonna watch Hot Shots.