Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

The President of the Happy Club of general layabouts (head office in a coffin shop) is, in true Bollywood tradition started by Salman Khan, a Prem. His girl, in untrue Bollywood tradition, as started by Lakshmi from Julie, is a Jenny. But Jenny is not actually Prem’s girl. He only thinks she is. She is actually in love with a rubber lipped block of wood called, in true Bollywood tradition set by Shah Rukh Khan, Rahul.

To make up for Rubber Lips’ terrible terrible dialogue delivery Prem and Jenny both are stress-stammerers. A nice moment with Sallu-bhai gave the female audience momentary eye candy, given that neither Ranbir Kapoor nor Upen Patel aka Rubber Lips fall into that category. Terribly unfair, given that the male section of the audience was sitting with their tongues hanging to their waists everytime Katrina Kaif waltzed onto screen all perky and bubbly and oh-so-cute. Except for the Tu Jaane Na song, where fire hydrants had to be brought into the theatre to douse overheated brains and other body parts. Which of course, didnt affect me, because I had seized the opportunity to educate the child on the  Grecian pillars and amphitheatres of yore around which the song was picturised on, when all he was interested was the jacket that the Kapoor was wearing.

The film was otherwise set in a nice hillside town which is named after some Wellington one presumes as the sutradhar of the movie, crow shit on back et al, is the statue of a Lord Wellington, who has a real bad attitude after all those years of being a recepient for crow droppings.

Somewhere in the middle of all this confusion is a lot of non veg eating which had me glued to my seat, and mopping the drool off my chin. The scene where the Prem piles his plate with ever carnivorous item available at a buffet almost had me jumping over heads before me and running into the screen. And the sudden appearance of a politician and an out of work don, and a ridiculous final action sequence, which has the bad guys jumping in synchronisation in and out of  a electric pool for no apparent reason, and with no real damage done to them.

And wondering why the Jenny only wore yellow and white through the movie. And why the Peter the Jenny was being forced to marry or bed, looked like an extended version of the yesteryear character actor Lilliput. And how in the most incredible chase sequence, a driver in a Charlie Chaplin get up and a bride in complete wedding gown could manage a complete dress and make up change while still on a motorcycle. And the fact that Jesus, avec lamb et al, driving a pick up, conveniently offers our hero a ride to the nearest church. But these are not questions that are meant to be answered. These are questions that one is not supposed to ask in the first place.

Thankfully, I was saved from voicing these questions aloud to the general theatre going public and marching into the ticket window and demanding my money back, by the fact the child was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

That to me was the paisa vasool value of the movie.

And some newfound respect for Ranbir Kapoor who, despite the awful awful storyline and some truly inane gags, managed to make one actually sit through the entire film, and wait till the end credits roll.

And the next time I want inane comedy, am gonna watch Hot Shots.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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7 Responses to Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

  1. Loved the narration. Chuckled non stop through it all 🙂

    P.S. Wellington is a small town near Ooty, my maternal grandfather’s native place.

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  2. CA says:

    Ah .. thats what the movie was for … i followed nothing … only had questions unanswered. Add to that, the fellow at ticketing counter had charged us three tickets instead of two and promised refund during interval. You can imagine where the first half of film viewing was spent 😦

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  3. Priyanka says:

    Inane movie but styled so nicely! Loved the promos. Why is it that these days, the dumber the movie, the better the packaging? Or was it so always?
    Lol – you described Mr. British Accent soooo perfectly!! How does Katrina manage to look so sweet in one frame and sexy in another?! Sigh!!
    “child was literally rolling on the floor laughing”… I think people that age should have been the target audience 😉

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  4. Pesto Sauce says:

    I saw the film somedays back…very repititive

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  5. Gayatri says:

    It was pathetic…but my husbands commentary kept me entertained! The one question I had was…was that statue played by Hrithik???

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  6. Childwoman says:

    …err…I liked the movie..and I could not stop laughing….

    Please don’t kill me… 😛

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  7. Kiran Manral says:

    Chronicles of Dee: It is. How duh could I get? Thanks.

    CA: NOt that you missed much.

    Priyanka: I think so too. They should have just marketed it as a childrens movie and helped us save our money.

    Pesto Sauce: Agree completely.

    Gayatri: Lemme ask around. I’m curious too.

    Childwoman: There is a reason you are called Childwoman. 🙂

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