Shifting office

The big news from this part of the planet is that we have shifted office. The earlier office had seen us spend ten years there, and it was now an officially declared public health hazard that needed to be brought down in the interests of public safety and the containment of swine flu. Seriously though, the building was an old decrepit housing colony type which was one leg away from collapse and had been taken over by a builder who had promised to raze it to the ground and build up a megalithic piece of architectural wonder that promises to knock the socks off all the pieces of construction on the same road, and add more square feet to the square feet already owned by the residents, who have put their hearts in their pockets and moved out for the two years the builder promises it will take for the premises to be developed.

Taking out an entire decade’s worth of junk is a task in itself. The first day of shifting saw the resident peon cum Man Friday disappear. After much yelling of his name and looking around at usual haunts said Man Friday disappears to when work is at hand, namely the loo, the nukkad chai spot, and such like, yielded no results. And then a faint cry caught my ear, the man had been buried beneath the pile of ten years of files. We have files which have mated and multiplied in cupboards, and produced entire generations of files which have then themselves gone on to produce offspring and family trees. We have generations of files. These files can create an island nation of their own. I could just drop them into the sea off the coastline and have my own private island. Maybe I could build my bungalow on them. Anyway, the Man Friday was excavated from under the files nothing damaged permanently save his ego, and the onerous task of stripping the joint of all its furniture and its accessories. Discovered beneath the furniture which had been fitted to the wall and the floor at the outset, fallen pencils, pens and sheets of paper which one had assumed had disappeared into the great hole in the sky where such things disappear into from an office. All the junk was piled into another pile which again threatened to drown yet another vertically challenged employee who was promptly yanked out from a preciptious fate worse than death.

All the furniture and files were crammed into a small tempo, fitted in by the premise employed by the policemen employed at the Japanese tube stations, a firm kicking into the doors and cramming in as much as could fit in without the sides of the tempo bursting. All the stuff was unceremonious dumped into the new premises. Which then resulted in us having to do the obstacle course over the furniture there being no free floor space available to move within the premises, given that all the cupboards which had hitherto been tacked to the wall in the previous office were now occupying precious floor space.

We are currently shoulder to shoulder with men of labour. Carpenters. Electricians. And their ilk. The sound of drills whirring into walls is making deep inroads into my cranium. I can feel the beginnings of a migraine coming on. Arrgggghhhhh. I need chocolate and fast. And it better be dark and sinful and fattening and all those things that make it all the more forbidden and prized and to be eaten on the sly.

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About Kiran Manral

Kiran Manral published her first book, The Reluctant Detective in 2011. Since then, she has published eight books across genres till date. Her books include romance and chicklit with Once Upon A Crush (2014), All Aboard (2015), Saving Maya (2017); horror with The Face at the Window (2016) and nonfiction with Karmic Kids (2015), A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up (2016) and True Love Stories (2017). Her short stories have been published on Juggernaut, in magazines like Verve and Cosmopolitan, and have been part of anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul, Have a Safe Journey (2017) and Boo (2017). Her articles and columns have appeared in the Times of India, Tehelka, DNA, Yowoto, Shethepeople, New Woman, Femina, Verve, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Conde Nast Traveller, DB Post, The Telegraph, the Asian Age, iDiva, TheDailyO and more. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards 2017 for Literary Contribution. She is a TEDx speaker and a mentor with Vital Voices Global Mentoring Walk 2017.
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7 Responses to Shifting office

  1. Meira says:

    Gosh! Hotline to Lindt needed asap!

    Like

  2. CA says:

    Atleast you got rid of a lot of stuff ….

    Like

  3. Kakali says:

    “We have files which have mated and multiplied in cupboards, and produced entire generations of files which have then themselves gone on to produce offspring and family trees. ”

    Ha ha ha .. funniest line ever 🙂
    Consider writing a humor column or a book, please.

    Hey Kakali, I’m open to one. But no publishers beating a path to my door.

    Like

  4. Dottie says:

    lol. or some retail therapy? Wishing you many productive and prosperous and fun years in the new “vastu”..

    Thanks Dottie!

    Like

  5. dipali says:

    All the best in keeping the new office uncluttered, once it’s set up, of course. And cheers to the sly consumption of chocolate:)

    Thanks fellow sly consumer of chocolate.

    Like

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