The benefits of a big behind…

And no, its for the express purposes of cutting a swathe through the crowd. Though it comes in handy for that too, I must confess.

I have always been a rather generously proportioned girl. That is not a good way to grow up in an era when stick thin insects are venerated to and top fashion models can actually count the bony protruberances on the surface of their skin caused by almost minus levels of body fat. I remember starving myself into anorexia and no menstrual cycle for six months when I was sixteen in an effort to rid myself of my curves. Yes, I got my stick thin figure and with it, PCOD. Not to mention countless enquiries about my health and well being and concerned neighbours sending in special dishes to fatten me up.

I piled on the weight again. I thought I looked hideous. The spouse begged to differ. But thats another story and a bigger post.

Fat on the hips is stubborn. It hangs on grimly. It doesnt melt away by wishful thinking (though positive visualisation is to be wholly recommended in situations needing additional reinforcement, apart from diet and exercise), and worse, we have Beyonce and J Lo making them behinds fashionable enough to be flaunted, making the pressure to flaunt them big behinds unbearable. Why does the same behind look bootilicious on Beyonce and like one had just to stick on a little grey tail on me. The answer lies, my dears, in the packaging.

Therefore, this is dedicated to all ye women who are apologetic about a little more on your booty. Be proud of your behind. It shows you are intelligent, keeps you safe from heart disease, and helps you make intelligent babies. Phtooey to them stick insects. We got our fatty deposits right where they can make a difference.

Read this:

London: They can play havoc with your stress levels when you’re trying to squeeze into skinny jeans. But big bottoms could be good for your health, according to British scientists.
    A team at Oxford University has claimed that carrying extra weight on your hips, bum and thighs is good for one’s health, protecting against heart and metabolic problems, reports the BBC.
    Hip fat mops up harmful fatty acids and contains an anti-inflammatory agent that stops arteries clogging; big bums are preferable to extra fat around the waistline, which gives no such protection, the scientists said.
    According to them, having too little fat around the hips can lead to serious metabolic problems because there is evidence that fat around the thighs and backside is harder to shift than fat around the waist.
    Although this may sound undesirable, it is actually beneficial because when fat is broken down quickly it releases a lot of cytokines — linked to heart disease, and diabetes — which trigger inflammation in the body, say the scientists.
    Lead researcher Konstantinos Manolopoulos said, “It is shape that matters and where the fat gathers. Fat around the hips and thighs is good for you but around the tummy is bad.”
    Manolopoulos said in an ideal world, the more fat around the thighs the better — as long as the tummy stays slim. “Unfortunately, you tend not to get one without the other,” he said.
    Fotini Rozakeas of the British Heart Foundation said, “This research helps us better to understand how fat acts in the body in order to develop new approaches in reducing heart and circulatory disease. PTI

That is not all. My big hips are also indicative of my intelligence, and are also indicative that I, had I decided to churn out a football team, would have spun out mini Einsteins.

http://www.physorg.com/news114062670.html

Now I know the spouse was thinking far into the future and the cognitive abilities of his future progeny when he evinced admiration of them fat deposits on the rear. He, like all good red blooded caveman providers, is biologically programmed to select a mate who will give him clever offspring. And yes, my bigger hips could also let a bigger brained baby out more easily, theoretically, never mind that the good doctor just took a scalpel and made a quick bikini cut incision and got the squalling kid out. Its another point that the squalling offspring is showing signs of intelligence only when it comes to Bollywood song and dance routines. He might still make a career choreographing for Bollywood films and earn his keep.

Read this:

Two researchers, Steven Gaulin and William Lassek believe our attraction to an hourglass figure may have evolutionary significance. In a recent study, Lassek and Gaulin found that a woman’s waist to hip ratio had an impact on a child’s intelligence; curvy women birthed children with superior cognitive abilities. “Men respond because it’s reproductively important,” Lassek believes.

Omega-3 fatty acids, the same fat found in flax and certain types of fish, are believed to be the source of the benefits. These fats compose much of the human brain (which is 60% fat by dry weight). They are selectively stored in the hips and thighs beginning in adolescence. Notably, women do not begin metabolize these deposits except during the third trimester of pregnancy and during lactation – peak times for a child’s brain growth.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to The benefits of a big behind…

  1. Bless you Kiran….you just gave me hope that I am about to birth a super genius baby going by the girth my hips and thighs have recently acquired!

    Of course you are.

    Like

  2. Maria says:

    Thanks much! i really needed this 🙂

    Always welcome. And so did I!

    Like

  3. Bhavna says:

    Kiran,

    I lived with the shame of a big backside for years, always covering it with ugly T shirts ( making it look bigger) till 3-4 years ago when someone convinced me of its attractiveness. I love it now..and I have learnt to accept the cellulite too

    Yaay for you.

    Like

  4. masood says:

    Very well written post and the wit is brilliant 😀

    Slap on the face for those skinny girls.

    No no, no slap on the face for anyone. But just an attempt to make us round ones feel better.

    Like

  5. Smitha says:

    I so totally needed this! Although I had accepted my big behind quite a few years back – this post just makes me feel a lot happier 🙂

    🙂

    Like

  6. mona says:

    Perfectly said…a little booty goes along way. We should celebrate the curves and not the french fry/stick figures that glamourize the covers.

    True. I think all us women need to do this.

    Like

  7. Just wanted to say, i have read this a million times, as in the fact that having fat around the hips is a good thing, and even wanted to do a post on it. Unfortunately, I myself, have all my girth, and extremely unhealthy one at that around my waist. And so I know I have a body which is a ticking time bomb. Lucky woman are shaped like pears and have good health, an apple like me, has no hope!

    Wish that there was a way to transfer waist fat to the hips na?

    Like

  8. Rakesh says:

    he he, but then, shouldn’t Africa be full of Einsteins 😛

    Though am not disputing that there are a lot other pluses ! 😆

    Very valid point.

    Like

  9. Kiran says:

    Good to know 🙂 and like you said Phooey to them stick insects!

    *Sticks tongue out for good measure*

    Like

  10. bedazzled says:

    yayyy!! i always knew that the gigantic rump would be of some help.. someday !!

    And plus, when the ice age hits, we have fat reserves to stay alive for longer….

    Like

  11. R's Mom says:

    Thank you thank you….I needed this one so badly :):)

    We all did.

    Like

  12. Oh the selection of words are just superub. I thought you are talking to me in person. This post could prove to be an eye opener for todays female running after skinny and thin figure…
    I liked the focus of the article…

    Thank you.

    Like

  13. mummyjaan says:

    Kiran, you’ve spoken about yourself and your big bum so many times that unfortunately the two are permanently…er…if you would kindly forgive me saying so…impossible to dissociate from one another. Kiran=fat bum and fat bum=Kiran.

    Although methinks you lie about the bum, nevertheless I can’t deny the fact that the “fat bum” is now synonymous with “you”!!

    Well, its the Whole Truth. You could add lazy to this and I would be the Lazy Fat Bum.

    *flees for cover*

    Like

  14. Namz says:

    So all of us are Einsteins !! hehe Most Indian Women have big bum …

    Thanks for the very nice article..

    That we are… 🙂

    Like

  15. dipali says:

    Yayyyy for the fat bums:)

    yaaay again

    Like

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