Sue, of the very readable http://www.sunayanaroy.blogspot.com has come up with this fabulous idea of the Red Marker Blogathon where she invites bloggers to come up with examples of incorrect usage of the language, either grammatically or through the spellings, and asks the writer to give the correct usage.
I could fill a book.
My past month as an active tweeter, twitterer or whatever it is you call folks who spend half their waking lives on twitter has me becoming a spelling and grammar Nazi. It is at times like this I actually feel I deserve every single one of them grey hair that dot my hairline.
Notice I said Hair. Singular. Not plural. Hair. Not Hairs. Got it. Got it. Hair is a collective noun. Used the same in the singular and the plural.
Some kind soul I read, but cant recollect has already done the Baba/Baby one, something that has been riling me for donkey’s years. An infant is a baby. Regardless of gender. Baba is a colloquial term used for either father or a small boy. Let us not confuse the two.
Then there are all them lonely souls desperate to Orkutize Twitter. They assault you with their “Haaaaaiiiiii!!!!!!” Hai? Yeh kya baat hui? Either say ‘Hi’ as the greeting was meant to be used or say ‘Hey’ as the kids these days use the greeting. WTF is Haaaaaaiiiiiii, with the exclamation marks no less.
And then, we go into the realm of relatives. Cousin sister? A cousin is a cousin is a cousin. There is nothing like a cousin sister. Or a cousin brother. And yes, there is no Co-sister too. Sorry to burst your bubble.
And you don’t speak ‘to’ someone, you speak ‘with’ someone. And yes, as Dipali pointed out, when you are upset with someone, you dont speak to the person.
And I’m really sorry, I don’t think my name is good. “What is your good name?” is probably not the best way to initiate a conversation with me.
Not to forget the classic, “I am having two children.” As I hear this the alarming visual of the gentleman before me going into childbirth swarms in front of my eyes.
And a lot more that I could think of, but am running out of time to type out…
But then, damn it all, we speak and write what is commonly accepted as Indian English. Perhaps we should develop a set of grammatical rules for this variant of the language?