…and the tucked in shirt. A terrifying new fashion trend I am seeing cropping up everywhere with stick insects rushing in hordes to wear checked and other variants of fitted shirts. And tuck them into the pant waists which are somewhere around a few inches below the navel. And then accentuate the entire look with a thin belt with a flashy buckle which probably reads “This Is A Super Luxury Brand Belt and Probably Costs More Than Your Annual Food Budget”. Worn over skinny denims. You get my drift. You get the look? It is a look that scares me.
For one I cannot, cannot tuck a shirt in. I donot wear shirts as a norm. Buttons tend to gape at buttonholes when buttoned across the chest. I am, what they call politely, a healthy girl. And then to tuck the shirt in, I would need a shirt of a certain length. Which would stay tucked in and wellbehaved for the entire day.
And then there is the small matter of the paunch. I spent the better part of the past four months convincing myself it was pre and post menstrual bloat, until, I finally accepted that all those hours of desk work and mindless comfort food eating, coupled with zero evening walks thanks to the monsoon months, have shown their results with fat deposits right at the front of the abdomen. I just have a little way more to go before I get congratulated for ‘good news’.
I now have, what is officially termed a potbelly. I have hideous dreams of the husband finding new, nubile, unpotbellied nymphet and demanding a divorce from my horrendousness. I wake up sobbing, and clutching the surprised man, and begging him to swear he will never ditch me no matter how gross my belly becomes.
Tucking in a shirt to accentuate this? Blasphemy. I will not be able to breathe until I get the damn outfit off for fear of popping a button either at the chest or at the waist. Luckily, I will have above mentioned thin belt to hold waist together if waist button does decide to do the pop on me.
I am therefore doomed to be unhip and untrendy until this trend runs its course. When, do you think, will kaftans make a comeback?