Making order out of chaos…

The past couple of weeks have seen me running around like a headless chicken. In as much as headless chickens can run with the blood spurting out of their cut necks like geysers. Anyway. Taken on some work which involves content writing. Some layouting. More work that came my way which wasnt really something I enjoyed but took on anyway because, as usual, I thought, what the heck. Its work. I might come to like it and wait to get into office to do it.

Barely took me a month to tire of it all. The stress. The constant pressure. The complete inability to devote any time to the child. The rapidfire greying of the hairline, and the lack of time and energy to get out the colouring kit and colour them strands back to levels of lost youthfulness.

After a particularly hectic weekend (one in which I had been standing all day all of Saturday organising a navratri night in the society premises and sitting all of the next day on a not very comfortable bench, padded though, as part of the audience in a Kaun Banega Crorepati shoot), I experienced,what greater souls have termed as enlightenment.

It was a sudden blinding moment. One in which the truth blazed in front of the dark, dank, stressed out screen of my mind. Words written in 40 foot high letters lit up with bulbs. “It is not worth it.”

It really was not worth it. The stress. The pressure to deliver on deadline. The stretching of time into elastic bands in order to finish whatever task it was that I had for the day. The sudden whiny clinginess of the child who was refusing to behave whenever he saw me around. It was not worth it.

Have decided to cut out the crap from my life. The Cultural Committee membership was the first to go. Don’t have the bandwidth to deal with kitchen politics and backbiting. Some other assignments that I dreaded started the day with. A project I had taken on, but was proving immensely taxing rather than fun.

It feels like a load has been metaphorically lifted off my already rounded and slouchy shoulders. I did some metaphoric shoulder stretching to relieve the sore muscles.

I’m getting back to what I really enjoyed doing. Namely writing about things that interested me. At my own pace. In my own style.Ā  With enough time to lotus eat. And blog. And read books.

In short, am back to being a kept woman again.

Advertisements

About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Making order out of chaos…

  1. sraikh says:

    HA!I just wrote a blog post yesterday with the title, Like a Headless Chicken.

    I have way too much crap going on with my life as well but the thing, most of them make me happy and I cannot figure out which one to cut.

    I hope things calm down for you now and you will be happy doing what you love best.. Ehh does that include shopping?

    Like

  2. niru says:

    Glad to know u are getting back to enjoying ur passion missy ! and as far as kept woman goes – absolutely nothing wrong in that when its with ur care and contributions ur beloved has achieved the dosh he is using to keep u in style! nothing wrong in enjoying the fruits of mutual hardwork in ur life ! u are meant for greater ambitions than mere mundanes! delve out of the mundane pools and swim da greater waters for a change! who know wot accomplishments awaits @ end of that one? GOOOOOOO FOR IT BRAVEHEART !

    Like

  3. Average Jane says:

    Kept woman? Why oh why can’t I be part of that elite group! You have my complete unadulterated envy.

    Like

  4. R's Mom says:

    Ditto AJ šŸ™‚

    Like

  5. mukul says:

    I am facing the same thing and feeling the emotions you have so finely elaborated.
    I have resisted to be at-home for so long. But don’t know if I have any steam left in me to keep running.

    Like

  6. Anu says:

    Hi Kiran

    Good going. Throwing out junk. One piece at a time.

    Warm regards

    Anu

    Like

  7. Ramesh says:

    Hi Kiran
    Delurking. I admire self deprecation in a person. But I think the ‘Kept Woman’ joke is getting to be a little tiresome.

    Please click on link below:

    http://www.google.co.in/search?&ie=UTF-8&q=define:+kept+woman

    Am sure this is DEFINITELY not your situation.

    You have a wonderful family, a great husband and an adorable son.
    If you chose to be a SAHM, it’s your prerogative, and you should thank your good fortune for it.

    My elder sis chose to be a SAHM after her first daughter, but right after she had the second, her husband lost his job. She had no other choice but to get back to work in order to keep the family going. Imagine the stress ! But now that he is doing good financially, she’s back to being a full time mom & loving it !

    Keep writing the good stuff !

    As I’ve said before, I’m sure I’m allowed to crack some jokes on myself. No idea why everyone is getting into a lather about the ‘Kept woman’ joke. It’s a joke for chrissakes. Lighten up everyone.

    Like

  8. starsinmeyes says:

    Here’s your soul sister in headlesschickenness…way to go at the decluttering.

    Like

  9. dipali says:

    What a relief! And may I not-so-politely say, kept woman my ass:)

    Arrggghhh. Not you too Dips.

    Like

  10. Kiran,

    Don’t know why you deleted your Karva Chauth post but I recd it in my reader and loved it! I want to say this:

    I hate all this negative stuff going on about the fast. It makes you feel guilty about what you want to celebrate. Since you asked why we do this, I am doing this for the first time (recently married). The husband’s family is Bengali and they have no idea what this is all about so there’s no question of any pressure or expectations. I’m doing this because this is my way of carrying forward a little bit of my culture. It makes me feel like I’m not letting go of simple figments of life as I knew it and celebrated it. Simple? And the husband’s fasting too (of his own will) because it seems fair to him that we both follow each other’s customs (the ones we follow at all). I celebrated Durga Puja the Bong way this time, and he is getting to know more about the importance of Karva Chauth and Diwali (the poker, the ODing on mithai and binges, et al) the way I know it.

    How sick is it then to wake up to these weird tweets and messages that “innocently” ask whether I’m doing this for a gift or if my MIL “forced me to”. Either they are implying that I have no brain of my own, or they are calling me a gold-digger šŸ˜€ So much for calling others regressive and sexist, I say! Secondly, isn’t it funny that the ones not fasting should spare so much time to comment on something they find so “backward”.. I mean I’m yet to hear any of the fasting ones tell someone they should be fasting too, so who’s being regressive here?

    Well, whatever. I’d be damned if I give in to the online world’s pressure on what I should do and why.. so I’m back to staying distracted from food šŸ˜€

    Good day! And pliss re-publish the post šŸ™‚

    Like

  11. onlooker says:

    šŸ™‚ yes like everyone else liked the last line! and of all the days when id just about rummaged and found a semblance of the so called ‘identity’!! šŸ™‚ inching along the 39th year too…and looking fwd to having more life startling revelations shared! šŸ˜‰

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s