Chuck that apple, eat a chocolate

The happiest news I read this morning, and maybe for well on a quarter of a century would be this. I kid you not. Yup, give me five minutes while I dig into that bar of Bournville, and allow me the grace of mopping the chocolate marks from my face before I continue.

Scientists all around the world are saying that chocolate is the latest “superfood” and undoubtedly they conducted some huge study and spents millions of dollars to prove it. In truth, I’m sure they ordered cartons of chocolate of the most sinful kind and locked themselves in their labs under ultra security that wouldnt even let the spycams peek in and had themselves a total chocolate feast that went on for years before they were sated and feeling good enough about themselves to announce their findings to a concerned world. Yes, they dealt with heartbreaks and emotional crisis better, while they were at their chocofest, and realised the true meaning of life too while they were at it, which is, life isnt a bed of roses. It is in fact, a box of chocolates. Dark chocolate. Low on sugar and milk. Guaranteed not to hit the thighs and morph into ripples of orange peel, circle the abdomen lovingly and strain to escape the confines of a belt. When they finally emerged, these scientists researching superfoods, they didnot need to sign on with Weight Watchers instantly, and voila, they decried, this was it, the Holy Grail. The miracle superfood the world had been looking for. Err, any five year old could have told you that, and think of all the “Eat your fruits now” battles we could have skipped with our parents and remained unscarred through our childhood, except maybe for dentist’s visits.

Research findings say that dark chocolate containing around 60 per cent cocoa had more antioxidant activity and more flavanols (whoever these gentle folk might be) than fruit. In simple language. Translated. Phtooey to you, fruits. Languish in my fruit basket and stop giving me those smarmy, she doesn’t know what she’s in for loaded glances when I’m downing my bar of dark.

I can so do with this eating healthy. I can eat as healthy as these scientists tell me. I can have my five portions of superfoods eating in a day, and skip all them fruits and veggies. Of course, I will be giggling uncontrollably and my eyes might be dilated but that’s a poor price to pay for being healthy and fully stocked up on flavanoids or whatever it is they say you need in your system to look good and feel great.

Frankly, this does put me in a bit of a quandary. How can I derive the strength of will to yell at the spawn of the womb when he insists that a major portion of his food intake comprise variants of cocoa, liberally sprinkled with milk and sugar, when all he will see me do is scarf down bar on bar of the brown stuff. And then, if I eat so healthy on a consistent basis, how will I be able to moan and groan about my unhealthy eating habits and wrench out moues of sympathy from friends and family.

These are thoughts I will think of later, and deal with accordingly. Right now, I have a superfood right in front of me, calling my name. I am so on a health food binge right now.


About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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8 Responses to Chuck that apple, eat a chocolate

  1. Deej says:

    85% dark choc is the way to go! Apples have just carbs and sugar only anyways!


  2. soulmate says:

    Now I can happily finish off my bar of bournville rich dark without any feeling of guilt and remorse… :-)..


  3. what Deej, her brother and his friend have been screaming themselves hoarse, saying! so yayyy!


  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Chuck that apple, eat a chocolate « Thirtynineandcounting --

  5. Megha says:

    i knew it all along 😉


  6. Writerzblock says:

    What fantastic news!!!! If only this had come a couple of years earlier, when I Still had some teeth and not mere cavities and crowns!!! Sigh!!!!


  7. dk says:

    I LOVE CHOCOLATE but can’t help feeling guilty (and not because of the calories) everytime i eat a piece after getting to know how cocoa growers in Ghana and the Ivory Coast (where 60% of cocoa used by chocolate makers comes from) use the worst forms of child labour. if u can, watch this BBC Panorama programme “The Bitter Truth of Chocolate”.Sorry i don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade but this has struck me as one of the most exploitative manufacturing processes of any consumable sold at some of the highest mark-ups ever (as branded chcolates). We think twice before bursting fireworks at Diwali because we know kids have been put to work/at risk to make them cheaper.


  8. Phoenixritu says:

    Sigh! Do we have sugar free dark chocolate. I want!


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