Climbing onto a weighing scale

It happened yesterday. I was at a friend’s house. I was buzzing with the excitement of the Indo Pak semi final. Much stimulants had been consumed. Much loud cheering had happened. The atmosphere was electric. It was the perfect moment to go do something stupid. And true to form I did. I sauntered into the children’s room to check if the collective offspring, who had been deposited there were killing each other, or being civilised and sharing toys when the eye caught a speck of red peeping out in front of the bed. It was too brilliant a flash of red to ignore and I bent down to investigate it further.
Twas a weighing scale. A digital one. And true to form, and also the reason why I dont keep one of the species at home, is how I promptly sucked in the stomach and lumbered onto said pristine surface, ordering the spawn of my womb to check the numbers which would appear on the display and held my breath.

He spoke. An obscene number that was past the weight I was at full term. Heh, I said, son, you don’t know how to read numbers and looked down confident he had got the order reversed. What he had read out confronted me. I screamed out loud. Friends rushed in from the living room where they were positioned in front of the television screen watching Sachin getting dropped for the umpteenth time. ‘What, what, what?” they gasped, checking all the pintsizes for evidence of blood or injury or swelling. “No” I wailed “It’s me. I’m beyond fat. I’m obese now.”

They flung themselves around on the floor hyuck hyucking in the most unsupportive fashion. I imagined the tissues would be offered, and a glass of cold water called for and much “Sit here, drink this water, breathe, don’t panic” Not this disdain. I could only put down this uncharacteristic lack of emotional support to the fact that watching the match had addled their brains and they were behaving in a stereotypically masculine style right now and would proceed to rib me about my fat deposits. I informed said friend whose residence we were invading that her weighing scale was off by a few kilos and she needed to get it checked, to which she calmly replied that the scale was fine and it had been recently calibrated and had me sink my head into my arms in despair and begin wailing in loud manner. This, after months of giving up sugar and fried foods and walking my knee joints off every single day. At almost the same weight I was when I was full term with the child in the womb. I needed to fling myself off the nearest cliff, and stab myself to ensure no chance of survival. I would go on a starvation diet immediately I reassured myself and sauntered off to the living room, picking up a random corn and cheese pakoda and nibbling on it to kickstart the blood sugar levels which had dropped appallingly low from the fright. Tomorrow, I assured myself. Tomorrow is another day. I would start a new, more rigorous diet from tomorrow. And yes, the daily Chocolate Cornetto post lunch would have to go too. I also needed to ensure that the daily walk was one hour of brisk no conversational walking, not random strolling around discussing menus and shopping and people we didn’t like and such like. I swore to myself that I would knock off the excess kilos even if I had to take a carving knife to myself and attack the cellulite deposits. Today is the first day of the new improved regimen.

Damn, I think she really needs to get that weighing scale checked.

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About Kiran Manral

Author of The Face At The Window, ( 2016), Karmic Kids, All Aboard (2015) , Once Upon A Crush (2014) and The Reluctant Detective (2011).
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15 Responses to Climbing onto a weighing scale

  1. Phoenixritu says:

    I don’t climb weighing scales, am convinced that Marquis De Sade invented them aided by Satan. Now that I am older and still chubby, I go once a month for my mandatory blood sugar check. The Doc says “Oh you’ve lost wt, you are X-6 kgs, I thank him and remember the -6, conveniently forgetting the value of X.

    It works

    Like

  2. Chatterbox says:

    I could so relate to your feelings and all that ran through your mind, for I believe the digital weighing scales tend to over-perform. So you aren’t alone, I too doubt your friend’s weighing scale πŸ˜€
    Good luck with your new improved regimen,hope you stick to it and it gives you desired results πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    P.S.- It’s my first visit to your blog and I am enjoying reading your wonderful works.Added you to my blog-subscription list πŸ˜€

    Like

  3. Nisha Arppit says:

    “Naari teri yahi kahani” Maam you have heard this line,”one size fits all” right? applicable here “one problem fits all women.”;) dont worry there are many women who would be empathetic with you in this regards. All the best to you and yes get that machine checked!!

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  4. Charu Gupta says:

    Hi Kiran,

    I’ve been in a similar kind of situation since a very long time. I used to weigh some 50 kgs +/- only about two years ago and now I’m obese!

    I’ve lost and gained weight way too many times and thus have read a lot on what is good and what’s not. Not going to give any gyaan but would seriously recommend every soul on this earth who wishes to lose weight/live a healthy lifestyle to read Rujuta Divekar’s book: ‘Lose your weight, don’t lose your mind’.

    Rujuta talks about simple things in life that we must do and we must not do. Eating right is the first and the most basic thing we must do. We must feed our body the right kind of nutrition and at the right time. Almost all of us hold our bodies at ransom the moment we think we have gained weight.

    Going on a diet to lose weight is the worst thing we can get into. I have done it way too many times to realize that all that it does is harm the system, help in gaining further weight and lead to frustration.

    I’ve been following Rujuta’s eating principles since almost a month now and feeling a lot more confident and happy. I’ve lost some weight, some inch loss, better skin and above all a lot more positive and active.

    I’ll strongly recommend everyone to read her book and benefit from it.

    Regards,
    Charu

    Like

  5. Hi,

    I am regular vistor here and thorougly enjoy ur posts….:)
    i agree with Charu, u might have already read the book, infact…i feel that Rujuta’s book along with the book on good skin which you reviewed here in one of ur recent posts, (which i am half way thru), if folowed, can be fantastic for our overall health….
    Rujuta’s ways are definite;ly simple and do-able…:)

    All the best for the new regimen though..:)

    cheers

    Like

  6. All the very best for the fresh endeavour. Yes, the walking should be BRISK, else it doesn’t work. Yes, the diet needs to be revisited too. All the sacrifice of sugar in diet is undone with the daily Cornetto. And checking in the mirror as regularly as possible works better than checking on the scales.

    Like

  7. Average Jane says:

    They said chocolates were good for you and so I religiously ate them the whole of winter. Would you believe..they aren’t really! I have been had.

    Like

  8. dipali says:

    I still don’t trust them scales, Kiran!
    I only believe the ones I have at home- Heaven help me if they’ve been deceiving me:(

    Like

  9. dipali says:

    Also, never check your weight in the evening, and especially not after snacking!

    Like

  10. Bidisha says:

    Don’t worry..you checked in the evening, possibly after eating food and fully clothed..that’s not your actual weight..check it in early morning before eating anything..

    Like

  11. I read the book Skin Deep after reading its review here and its great! I have given up on sugar for a couple months now, and that has helped me in losing weight and staying a good steady weight.
    I just train my mind to believe Sugar=BAD, Processed=BAD, Simple Carbs = BAD
    I had insulin resistance which is a sign of pre-diabetes and thats been cured. I think the moment you stop taking sugar(like completely), your life/health changes. It becomes much easier to lose weight.

    Like

  12. Pingback: Climbing onto a weighing scale Β« Thirtynineandcounting | Climbing News and Information

  13. Seena says:

    I am laughing out loud..You have a wonderful blog here..

    Like

  14. Asha says:

    When a guy looks at himself in the mirror he always sees himself as at least 10 kgs lighter. When a woman sees her reflection, it’s always with the addition of 10 kgs 😦

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  15. Asha is probably right. May be that’s why guys in general seem oblivious / reluctant about their excess weight. Also guys don’t check themselves in semi-profile that more accurately tells how overweight he is. But if one is self-critical about his shape he will see the actual picture in the mirror.

    Like

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