At the outset, let me confess, I am technologically challenged. In fact, I am so terrified of change of any sorts, that when the spouse got me my first Blackberry many years ago, I sat and wept for the first couple of days trying to figure out how to get it to work. Of course, it is a different issue that said Blackberry is now surgically attached to my right palm, and my thumb can move over the keyboard in deep REM sleep and type out a perfect tweet or a reply to an email or a message. Ergo, I have been firmly resisting the touch phone phenomenon, though many of my friends have been turning cartwheels over the iPhone and other touchscreen instruments.
Ergo, when the husband pulled out the compact white box and presented it to me on my birthday recently, the first reaction was that of unbridled horror. An iPad. I didn’t know how to use an iPad. It terrified me. This was meant for the younger generation who probably came out of the womb hardwired in order to start tap tapping into these devices barely they figure out yes, this is a limb and this is a finger and when I yell loudly I get fed and changed, and even burped.
Of course, I was delighted. The thought behind it was adorable. The spouse actually realised that I ended up doing not much work at home because I hated sitting at the desktop tucked away in a rather inappropriate place in bedroom corner and thought this might be of use to me. He’s a darling like that. Of course, give him a couple of months and he will grumble under his breath about how I’m constantly on the iPad and barely listening to what he’s saying, but then, that is a risk he took by gifting me this.
Then I sat with the device. The chappie at Vijay Sales gave me a rough demo of which the most I saw was the back of the child’s head because he had inserted his head in the line of vision between me and the demo man and refused to shift self to other side to enable me to get a look see at what he was talking about.
We took ourselves home. The iPad was kept aside to be charged. The child floated around checking the charge levels. I steered clear, looking at the instrument like it had been dropped down from the skies from an alien spaceshift and touching it would transport me through space time at warp speed to enter a new dimension, and hopefully not ageing in the process. Finally, the device was charged to the fullest extent it could be charged and I had no excuse to avoid it. I picked it up bravely. The child followed me in puppy dog manner to the table where I placed it down gingerly.
I looked around vaguely trying to figure out what to do and found the iPad totally hijacked by the Pintsize who zoomed into the home screen found the App shop, got me to feed in credit card details and began downloading Apps with a vengeance. The pinging on the phone kept track of how much he had downloaded so far until I snatched the device away from him.
I then pussyfooted around the device, figuring it out. Truly, it was a marvel of simplicity. Steve Jobs, tussi great ho. The Pintsize helped me figure it out and soon was zooming through, checking mail, twitter, FB, and reading articles online, and all that was guaranteed to help me spend even more time online that was mandatory to stay online.
So the first thing I’m doing now that I’ve figured out how to use the iPad is rationing my time on it. Of course, if I can manage to snatch it away from The Pintsize, that is. As of the moment, he has assumed whole and soul proprietorial rights over the iPad. I might get a peep in when the novelty wears off.