Always Daddy’s Little Princess….

Today I am missing my father. That seems to be a strange thing to say considering it has been 33 years since he passed away. Thinking back, I barely knew him, my father. To me, he was this handsome giant with gentle hands, who brought the smell of Old Spice and Capstan cigarettes when he came into the room, who wrote me lovely little notes and placed them under my pillow on days he came home too late to see me awake. He was the superman who would take me to the beach on a cycle every Sunday and get me a huge tutti frutti cone, who would scoop me up in his arms and run with me to the doctor when I was burning up with fever, who carefully shook my loose tooth and pulled it out just so that I never felt a thing. My pappa’s hands had magic, he could make a bump on the head feel less painful immediately, he could make things out of paper, he could draw wonderfully and he had the loveliest, most elegant handwriting I’ve ever seen.

I remember the strangest things about my father, the way he sat with the newspaper on Sunday mornings, with the armchair angled just that to catch the morning sunlight, the bunches of flowers he brought home every Sunday morning and how carefully he arranged them in vases through the house, his distinctive whistle, which announced to me in the building compound that it was time to come home, how he would carry me on his shoulders so for that brief moment I was the king of the world in a manner I would only realise when I saw Leonardo di Caprio do on the prow of the Titanic, in the movie, many years later. But then, I was his princess.

When they told me he had died, I didn’t realise that I would never see him again, that I would never feel as safe and protected as I had in those nine years of my childhood. I didn’t get a chance to hug him, to say goodbye. I’m still grappling with the finality of his death. That immobile body lying on the floor wasn’t my father. It couldn’t be. My father was so full of life, so larger than life that his presence filled a room when he entered. I heard about him from people who knew him as I grew up. I patched together the father I never knew. When people told me I looked like him, I was gratified in a strange way. When I look at my face in the mirror now, in my forties, I see a female version of the face I remember. I wondered how my life would have turned out had my father been around to see me grow. I wondered if he would have been proud of me. He who raised me to be a hell raising tomboy and never bought me anything but shorts and trousers in an era when girls were in ribbons and laces, he would be glad that I live in trousers today.

I dream about him coming back, and me introducing him to my husband, my son. These are the men in my life now, pappa, I would tell him. I married a sportsperson too, pappa. My son is training to be sportsperson too. They remind me of you, they make me feel as cherished and secure and loved as you did.

Time heals everything they say. What they don’t tell you is that the pappa shaped hole in one’s heart will never ever get filled.

Where the sky kisses the mountains-Te Aroha

Part of our Pahadland trip, post our stay at Nainital, which is a blog post by itself, was an overnight stay at te Aroha, Dhanachuli, just before Mukteshwar. We drove down to Te Aroha from Nainital, a long winding road through the foothills of the Himalayas, through imposing coniferous lined roads and orchards, until we reached Dhanachuli bend. A call to the hotel to determine what route to take next had a very helpful staff member come to the bend to escort us to the gate. From the road, one can barely see anything of the resort, except for a cheery yellow painted line up of pots containing the most exquisite flowering plants. Which was a good thing, because when one entered, one was totally unprepared for how exquisitely the property would unravel before us as we climbed through one flight of stairs after another.

What struck me at first was how personal attention to detail was evident in every little corner of the premises, from the terracotta frog basking in the mild summer sun to the little niche at the side of the stairs leading to the main summer house which forms the lobby or focal entrance point to the property, each item whether ornamental or functional, has been selected with love and a clear vision of how it would fit in the property.

But then, Te Aroha itself is a labour of love. Corporate lawyer Sumant Batra fell in love with Dhanachuli when he visited it many years ago and built his summer house here. Over the years, he kept adding to the summer house and eventually converted it into a luxury boutique resort, with rooms that offered all the modern conveniences you could wish for, each done to individual themes with carefully restored antique colonial furniture.

Every room has tastefully framed posters, created by Sumant Batra on literary and musical icons, adding character to the rooms. Coffee table books, judiciously selected are placed in every room for a guest to flip through. My room, aptly, had a book on shoes–given my obsession with them, it kept me busy for quite some time. Sadly though, despite the glorious 180 degree view from the bed, the weather was too foggy for me to catch a glimpse of the Himalayas–something I’ve been missing out on each trip I make to pahadland, but I can only imagine how spine chillingly exquisite it must feel to open one’s eyes to the view of the snow capped range looming ahead.

“The property is a harmonious blend of traditional architecture and contemporary comforts. The original structure of a summer house that once stood on the property has been successfully preserved to retain its original charm.  Huge decks and terraces, antique furniture, massive glass windows with breathtaking views of the landscape and the high ceilinged lobby replete with carefully selected furniture can transport you through time to the bygone elegance of the colonial era.”

Among the most interesting sections of the property is the studio, where Batra’s collection of antiques and kitschy collectibles like match cards, cassettes, radios, an old carefully restored scooter all occupy prime place. There is no television in any of the rooms, except for a TV room off the dining area. For guests who love to curl up with a book, there is a substantial collection of classics and contemporary fiction, both popular and literary that guests can borrow from the library on the premises. (psst, you will find a signed copy of The Reluctant Detective by yours truly there if you chance to visit) and the dining hall is quaint and old worldly charm, with meals cooked to your specifications–Continental or Indian, and the service is friendly, personal and most importantly, non intrusive. What I found most interesting is that locals from Dhanachuli have been employed on the property and trained so excellently they could be graduates from any leading hotel management institute. One of the young attendants in fact rushed off early from duty the day we were there because he had to give an exam the next morning. Heart warming it was, given how remote the village is and the tough life the locals there must undoubtedly lead.

I stayed in a wonderful room called The Attic, perched right on top of the property, like an eyrie.

Other rooms on the property had interesting names like Three Steps Down, The Long House, Black Roof, Morning Sun and each was done up to an individual theme.

According to the website, “The original structure of a summer house that once stood on the property has been successfully preserved to retain its original charm.  Huge decks and terraces, antique furniture, massive glass windows with breathtaking views of the landscape and the high ceilinged lobby replete with carefully selected furniture can transport you through time to the bygone elegance of the colonial era.  Furbished thematically, all guest rooms at Te Aroha are different in their aspect and ambience offering spellbinding views of Dhanachuli’s landscape and the snow peaked mountains.”

The Long House, a stand alone cottage meant for couples, especially honeymooners, is the perfect romantic getaway in its hues of white and peach. The cottage has a living room with a fireplace, an antique four poster bed in the bedroom and one of the most fabulous bathrooms I’ve ever seen.

The only challenge, for us, was keeping the nine year old engaged and I’m shamed to say the iPad and the PSP came to our rescue more often than we would have liked them to. Nonetheless, the boy declared that the food at Te Aroha was the best of all the places we had dined out at on our trip-so that sealed the matter, given how important a good meal is to him.

A round table that was actually U shaped

Last week, the kind people at Titan invited me to be part of a round table discussing the Millenials, a generation I look on with awe and wonder and a smug sense of waiting for them to grow up and realise that they really don’t know it all, and that we forty somethings have been there, hoisted the flag and worn the tshirt.

Ergo, I took myself, blue sling, et al, to figure out how the millenials behaved. I learnt a lot of interesting stuff. Primary among which was the memory of why I flunked every group discussion I participated in because I wait until I am spoken to rather than jump in even if I have something to add or disagree. Which is also why I refuse television panel appearances. I learnt that Millenials have a hierarchy of friends, much like Maslow’s pyramid, and most of these in the socially networked era are costless friends. (though I believe that even so called costless friends on social networks do need the effort/cost of interaction and engagement and ‘liking’ ‘RTing’ ‘fwding’ etc for these friendships to sustain, and that some of my nicest friendships right now have happened when I’ve taken the online friendships offline). I learnt that the democratization of transport is going to lead to a change in the employed demographics. I also learnt that people don’t like to wear loud colours because they are considered down market, which makes me look sceptically at the bright trousers everyone seems to be sporting these days. So. I’m sifting through the findings, weighing them in, debating them in my head and discarding the ones that don’t fit in with what I’ve experienced. And yes,  I agreed with the vodka. It does seem to be the millenial drink of choice.
Some infographics

Here are the findings, some paragraphs I found interesting.

“For India’s millennial generation (people born between roughly 1980 and 2001) it’s all about ‘me’. In fact, for this demographic group ‘me’ is not merely important, it’s the only opinion that counts.”

“India’s millennials would appear to be the most opinionated, uninhibited, independent-minded generation in the nation’s history; and this insight is endorsed by anecdotal evidence of millennial behaviours: the use of Twitter to connect directly with anyone irrespective of their rank or title, the disregard for traditional structures of authority and management in the workplace (if they have an opinion, India’s millennials will simply express it); and their opinion is as valid as the next person, whether that happens to be the boss or the Prime Minister!”

“According to the theory, Vodka is the perfect individualistic millennial drink; it leaves no trace on the breath, it can be transformed into an unlimited array of mixes and cocktails, or it can be drunk ‘solo’. In this sense, Vodka defies tradition and convention; it enables the drinker to choose his/her identity and adapts seamlessly.”

“Millennials are the World’s ‘exhibitionist class’, everything is shared, everything requires an
endorsement – whether that take the form of a ‘friend’ a ‘like’ or even a ‘retweet’. MTV researchers describe them as being ‘addicted to constant feedback’8; according to their research 58% of millennials surveyed felt more confident when they received feedback and 33% of those surveyed felt disappointed if others don’t respond.
And India’s millennials are no exception. 95% of them participate in social network activities at least once per day9, over half of them consider a mobile phone to be an ‘absolute necessary’ outstripping their debit/credit card (8%), bike (4%), car (2%) and newspaper (2%). India is home to over 61 million Facebook users, with 18-24 year-olds and 25-34 year-olds accounting for the biggest proportion.
According to Edelman’s 8095 research10, 74% of millennials believe that they influence their peers’ purchasing decisions; ‘Millennials seek recommendations from people they trust – They spend a lot of time on social media and are vocal about their likes and dislikes . . .’11 Facebook users, with 18-24 year-olds and 25-34 year-olds accounting for the biggest proportion.”

 

 

And here are some pictures from the event.

Of a holiday and a dislocated shoulder….

Like all good things, the last minute pahadland trip we rushed off to, came to an end with a bang. Literally. That of me falling down the stairs and wrenching my right arm out of the socket. So while I am trying my best to stick to doctor’s orders not to exert the hand and will resist typing further, here are some pics of the trip. Rudrapur, Nainital, Dhanachuli (Te Aroha which is a blogpost by itself and which I promise to do soon) and good old Delhi malls.

At the Mumbai Book Fair….

This is what I did on the weekend. Shared the dais with some of the most popular writers of contemporary English fiction, namely Ashwin Sanghi, author of The Rozabal Line, Chanakya’s Chants and The Krishna Key, Amish Tripathi, the author of the Meluha trilogy which has created a completely new genre in contemporary writing in English from India, Ravi Subramanian of The Bankster, who sets his books in what seems to be the staid world of banking but makes them pacy enough to be page turners and Manish Gupta whose English Bites is very popular.

This was at a panel discussion at the Mumbai Book Fair 2013 organised by Spandan, and held at Powai, which is not such a long trek away with the JVLR anymore and totally worth the trip for any book lover given the number of stalls on display and given that this is their first year of organising it, a fabulous effort by a group of committed individuals.

We spoke on content, masala and marketing and the discussion was great fun. I will try to get my mitts on a video of the discussion but till then here are a few photographs of the event.

My Tehelka blog post: The difference between wooing and stalking

“Who amongst us have not followed girls?” said Janata Dal(United) chief Sharad Yadav in the Lok Sabha on Tuesday amid peals of laughter. Mr Yadav was referring to the provisions of stalking and voyeurism in the Criminal Law (Amendment) Bill, 2013, that, he said, was prone to being misused against men.

“Kaun hai hum me se jisne peechha nahi kiya hai. Aur jab mahila se baat karni hoti hai tab pehal mahila nahi karti hai, pehal toh hamein hi karna hoti hai. Koshish toh hamein hi karni padti hai. Pyaar se batana padta hai, yeh poore desh ka kissa hai. Humne khud anubhav kiya hai, hum sab log uss daur se gujare hain, usko aise mat bhulo. Debate karao, long lasting changes pe nazar rakho. [We have all stalked (women). And you have to take the first step when you want to speak to a woman. A woman will never approach you; we (men) have to try on our own and have to talk to her softly. This is the story of the entire country. We have experienced it ourselves. We all have gone through that age, don't forget. We must debate (on anti-rape laws) and keep our eyes set on long lasting changes],” the JD(U) chief said.

Thankfully, despite the spirited defence put up by Sharad Yadav in its favour, Lok Sabha passed the anti rape bill, making stalking and voyeurism non-bailable offences if repeated for a second time. When an elected leader does not get the fine difference between wooing and stalking, it is time to get very, very worried. When we are told on the floor of Parliament that wooing and stalking are synonymous, we cease to wonder why India holds this abysmal track record of gender violence.

Every girl would know the horror of being stalked. Contrary to what our esteemed politicians believe, there is nothing romantic about it. Wooing as a concept is completely different from stalking and it is the inability to recognise this intrinsic difference that underlines the regressiveness of the mindset of those we have elected as our representatives. Geetika Sharma and Priyadarshini Mattoo were not wooed, they were stalked. Geetika was driven to suicide. Priyadarshini was raped and brutally murdered.

Where does the line blur between wooing and stalking? Is our popular culture to blame? In most Indian cinema, the male protagonist’s unhealthy interest in the female protagonist, shadowing her everywhere, irritating her, finally ends up in her collapsing dramatically in his arms and declaring her love for him. In teen fiction, the Twilight series, which went to break all records and achieve cult status, worryingly, has the male protagonist, Edward Cullen stalker like in his obsession with Bella Swan, the female protagonist. While this seems cute and adorable, and oh-so-romantic on celluloid and in the books we read, in the real world, stalking is anything but. In fact, it is downright scary. I remember stopping going to university because of a persistent stalker. Friends tell me of stalkers giving infinite missed calls on their home landlines (these are all friends who have been adolescents in the pre cell phone era) and not one of them found it cute or romantic. It just completely freaked them out that an unknown person they had absolutely no interest in was shadowing their every move. Not one of them said that they welcomed the attention, in fact most of them were terrified. I must add here, that stalking is not gender specific, there have been famous cases where women have stalked men too.

Classic stalking behavior is this. “The stalking behaviour is in the nature of harassment. Typically, stalking behaviour includes the following the victim and entering the victim’s home. They persecute their victims by unwanted advances, frequent telephone calls, letters, email, mobile messages, graffiti, notes, and gifts. Severely aggressive behavior can lead to assault, kidnapping, and even murder sometimes of the love object but at other times of an acquaintance seen as a rival.”

When Salman Khan in Tere Naam follows the girl he has set his heart on, played by Bhoomika Chawla, and even goes to the extreme of kidnapping her, he set a dangerous precedent that legitimised the extreme side of stalking, that of wanting to take complete control of the object of interest. Earlier hit films like Sholay (where Dharmendra pesters an irate Hema Malini in Koi Haseena Jab Ruth Jaati Hai), find their echoes in more recent films like Rockstar where a nerdy, earnest Ranbir Kapoor makes a public nuisance of himself in following Nargis Fakhri around the place. In all three examples, the girl falls in love with the boy eventually.

Stalkers are normally fixated on the object of their affection. In Hindi cinema, Shahrukh Khan played perhaps, the most realistic portrayal of the dark side of stalking in the movie, Darr, unlike the fluffy romantic portrayal most movies choose to show. To quote Farhan Akhtar, actor-director, “There are films in which romantic wooing has been replaced by a kind of harassment of the heroine. The heroes of these films could be considered stalkers in some civil societies. Now imagine that this actor is a role model to millions… wouldn’t his fans think this behaviour is okay? Now imagine that this actress is a role model to millions… what message does it send to women across the country?”

We have generations of Indian men who have grown up, conditioned on the belief that to woo a girl, one must stalk her, be persistent, force one’s attentions on her and even if she resists, expresses irritation, disgust and revulsion, they must continue because, inevitably, like the heroines in our popular cinema, they will succumb. When these men realise that unlike Hindi cinema, in the real world, girls they pursue with such rabid single mindedness might be totally disinterested in them, they can’t take the rejection. They have been brought up to believe that THIS is the way to woo a woman, and to add to this is the way our boys are brought up, never denied anything they want. This then leads on to rape, murder, acid attacks, all to assuage the thwarted sense of self esteem the rejected stalker feels.

This is what happened with Priyadarshini Mattoo, who was found raped and murdered in her own house on January 23, 1996. From Wikipedia, “Priyadarshini was in the third-year of her law program, when she was found strangled in her uncle’s residence. She had been raped, struck 14 times with a motorcycle helmet, and finally strangled with a wire. Santosh Kumar Singh, her senior in college, had been stalking and harassing her for several years, and was the immediate suspect. But Santosh came from an influential family – his father J.P. Singh was then Inspector General of Police in the Indian Union Territory of Puducherry – in the course of the trial he served as Joint Commissioner of Police in Delhi, where the crime had been committed. In view of these connections, the court handed over investigation of the case to the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI). In 1995, Priyadarshini had complained that Santosh Singh was harassing and stalking her. She had been provided with a personal security officer at the time. In retaliation, Santosh had lodged a complaint with the university alleging that she was pursuing two degrees simultaneously. However, it turned out that Priyadarshini had passed M.Com in 1991 and the complaint was merely malicious. On the morning of January 23, 1996, Santosh was seen knocking for entrance into Priyadarshini’s uncle’s house, where she was living, in the Vasant Kunj area of Delhi. A servant saw Santosh entering her house, apparently saying that he wanted a compromise in their legal complaints. Subsequently he raped her, strangled her with an electric wire and then battered her face beyond recognition with a motorcycle helmet.”

Priyadarshini Mattoo’s case got widespread media coverage, with the public pressure compelling the case to be reopened, after the trial court acquitted him. In the interim, Santosh Singh had gone on to get married and become a practicing lawyer. The High Court eventually awarded him the death penalty which was then reduced by the Supreme Court to life imprisonment. Interestingly, according to Wikipedia, “Santosh Singh, post conviction, barely spent 4 months behind bars and was out on parole in March 2011. Upon return, he subsequently filed another application for grant of parole, subject matter of Criminal Writ Petition 224/2012 before Delhi High Court. The High Court granted him a parole of another one-month on March 6, 2012.”

In Geetika Sharma’s case, the former airhostess with MDLR airlines owned by former Haryana state Minister of Home Gopal Kanda, committed suicide alleging harassment.

In yet another case, Vinodini, a techie in South India, died after an acid attack by her stalker.

Thankfully now, for girls who face the nightmare of unwelcome attentions, “Stalking — physical or electronic via phone calls, text messages or emails — is now a criminal offence, punishable with one to three years in jail. Stalking no longer means just causing distress to someone by following the person or forcibly interacting with them. It now also includes unwanted telephone calls, sending derogatory SMS or emails that “disturb the peace of mind of any individual”. Those guilty of these offences will also have to pay hefty fines. “Whoever monitors the use by a person of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication that results in a fear of violence, or interferes with the mental peace of such person, commits the offence of stalking,” says the Indian Penal Code.

Many Geetikas, Priyadarshinis and Vinodinis suffer across India. Some are burnt to death, some have acid flung on them, some are stabbed, some are abducted, raped and murdered. Girls drop out of college in order to avoid stalkers, they change timings, they avoid going out in public alone, they live on the edge of a sword. For no fault of theirs. Not all of them get justice. In a culture which does not take into consideration a woman’s consent, stalking is considered a legitimate form of courtship. Our leaders call it a form of ‘romance’, underlining the chauvinism that defines their beliefs. Perhaps we need to remind them of Priyadarshini, Geetika and Vinodini. And this unnamed girl committed suicide after being stalked for months. These girls were not wooed. There was no romance. They were driven to their deaths. Or killed. That is what stalking is.

Read the link: http://blog.tehelka.com/difference-between-wooing-and-stalking/

Give us this day a harassment free commute-My Tehelka blogpost for this week

Give us this day a harassment free commute

Illustration: Samia Singh

Last week, I curated the @WeAreMumbai twitter account. Given that it was International Women’s Day on 8 March, I asked the residents of Mumbai, or at least those who followed the @WeAreMumbai account, what they would like to see changed in the city to make commuting and public spaces more accessible and convenient for women. Among the many suggestions that cropped up, the most notable were the demand for more ladies special trains, buses and more compartments in local trains reserved for women. Interestingly, when I asked which areas of the city women found safe to walk, jog, run in, the answers were few and far between. I asked the women if they used the skywalks and subways, and the answers from those who used the sky walks far outnumbered the answers in the negative from those who didn’t. Women preferred to be on the road, rather than enter a subway late at night even if it meant walking a great distance to be able to cross a road, or access a railway station. They took the second class ladies compartment which is always reserved for ladies and not the one that changes to general at a fixed time, because the men jump in much before the time of changing to general and they’ve had unpleasant experiences of being groped and verbally harassed.

For most women, even the every day commute to work was replete with groping, molestation, street sexual harassment, and it was a matter of fact every day battle they needed to deal with if they needed to get out to schools, colleges and to work Most women accept that street sexual harassment was part and parcel of the perils of urban living. This sad reality affects a woman’s ability to move about in a city freely, to be an equal participant in the workspace; it limits their ability to navigate a city without fear of being at risk of harassment, molestation or worse. It makes half the population of a city rush through their time out in public spaces simply because of their gender.

The fact remains that commuting in our cities was, is and seems to remain fraught with danger for women. In Delhi, on December 16, 2012, a 23 year old medical intern boarded a private bus, along with a male friend, because one of those in the bus called for passengers saying it was going towards their destination. She was then gang raped so brutally that she eventually passed away from the injuries suffered despite the best medical efforts, that the medical details that emerged horrified the nation. The incident led to weeks of concerted protests by enraged citizens, both men and women, young and old, leading to a committee being set up to re-look at our gender violence laws.

As recently as last week, a minor was gang raped in an auto after she left from a mall at Ghaziabad. The girl took a shared auto at around 8 pm in the night, the auto unfortunately had been stolen and the three men in it were around for a joyride. “The girl was told the two men sitting in the back were passengers.  ‘Shared autos’ are a common practice here, partly because they make commuting cheaper, and because there’s a paucity of public transport. The auto drove through multiple police check points for a journey that lasted more than two hours on Saturday night.  The men in the back pinned the girl down and gagged her, preventing her from shouting for help, according to the police. When the men had raped the teenager in a secluded area near a major highway, they threw her onto the road. But not before robbing her of her cash and cellphone.” Passersby who found her lying bleeding on the highway, took her to the police station, interestingly, she was not spotted by the police patrols in the area.

Transport and commuting in our cities is a matter of concern. In most metropolises we have women only fleet taxi services like Forshe, Vira Cabs and Priyadarshini, but these are not affordable or practical for the regular, every day commute for most women. Most women take local trains, the metro, auto rickshaws, sharing autos and public buses in their daily commute, often taking two or more of these modes given distances in our cities of the residential areas from commercial districts. Some years ago, the Delhi based NGO Jagori conducted a study on women’s safety in public spaces in the city. The survey found that 80 percent of the 500 female respondents had faced sexual harassment in buses and other public transport. Jagori has also initiated a Safe Delhi campaign where they look at how the city can be made safer for its more vulnerable residents, specifically women and the elderly. Another study conducted by Jagori Delhi in collaboration with UN Women in 2009, in two cities of Kerala – Thiruvananthapuram and Kozhikode, surveyed over 1500 men and women across both cities. According to Rejitha G, Project Coordinator for Kerala for the Safe City Initiative, “The study brought to the forefront some of the critical issues of women’s safety in public spaces. 99 percent of the women felt that the city was not safe due to lack of street lights and high raised walls of residential houses on either side of the roads. Harassment in public transport was identified as the major problem. Others included ‘eve-teasing’, sexual remarks and jokes in bus stops and roads, exhibitionism, staring, and attempting to take photos through mobile cameras.  In Kozhikode, 53 percent of the women respondents reported that the incidents took place during day time and 24 percent reported incidents after dark. The study also revealed that women hardly speak about this kind of harassment. Only 5-7 percent of women reported the incident to the police, while 19 percent did nothing when they were sexually harassed. This refers to the incidents that occurred in the last one year before the study. A majority of women responded by not stepping out after dark – 69 percent women said that they avoided going to secluded places and 67 percent avoided going out alone after dark.”

On Twitter, Blank Noise, a volunteer driven collective that works to change attitudes towards street sexual harassment, recently did a twitterthon where they asked tweeters to take a Safe City Pledge, where they stated what they would do to make our cities safer. The most notable fact was the constant echo in the pledges about reclaiming the cities for women, getting back the freedom to move around after dark. Among the more poignant pledges was this one, “I will ask my daughter to go out and play. Play football. Jog. Unlearn warnings.” While reclaiming the city after dark for women might seem ambitious right now, but it is important that women realise that they have as much right to be out in the streets of the city they live in, without fear, as men do and take for granted.

UN Women has launched the Safe Cities Global initiative which partners with municipal governments, local communities and organisations to make global cities safer for women, the initiative now covers over 20 cities world wide and is growing. One of the cities covered under this initiative is Delhi. To quote Michelle Bachelet, the executive director of UN Women and former president of Chile, “A diagnostic study in New Delhi, for instance, revealed that a common strategy against harassment was to simply keep girls and women at home. One girl explained: “If we tell our parents about boys harassing us, they would blame us only and say that it is our fault … Our parents might even stop us going out of the house.” Findings like this spur action, since keeping women and girls home is not a solution. Residents organised community collectives to build awareness, report crimes, and work with authorities to improve public safety and justice.” UN Women is also partnering with Microsoft to find ways to use mobile technology to stop sexual harassment and violence in public spaces.

Efforts to effect changes are definitely underway. The Supreme Court has directed that a victim of sexual harassment in a public service vehicle has the right to take the vehicle to the nearest police station and give the information about the incident to the police. If the crew does not do this, the permit to ply the vehicle can be cancelled. Post the Delhi Gang Rape, the government is looking at making transport more convenient for women. According to news reports, the Urban Development Ministry has asked 63 cities, with a population of more than one lakh, to run women-only buses on busy routes. If not buses, then the state governments are urged to run smaller transport vehicles on these routes with the emphasis on frequency.

An interesting initiative from the Delhi Transport Department looks at bringing in an autorickshaw fleet, driven only by women. Special women only buses have been launched in UP on International Women’s Day, painted appropriately pink, but operational unfortunately only till 5.30pm, which quite defeats the purpose of being an option for women who work and need safe modes of transport post 8 pm.

In Mumbai, which has had ladies special trains for over a decade now, ladies special buses starting from the railway stations are thoughtfully timed keeping in mind the timings of the ladies special trains at certain main railway stations. There are many who would say segregating men and women in mass transport is not the answer to stop street sexual harassment, but the fact remains that is the most effective way right now to ensure that women don’t get sexually harassed at least for that part of their commute while they’re in these women’s only modes of transport. Safety of women on their daily commute is not just limited to the actual mode of transportation, every point on the route must be safe, from the road to reach the railway station being well lit, the railway platform with adequate police patrolling, parking lots well lit and with security, adequate CCTVs placed at strategic positions in public spaces to help identify perpetrators in the event of a crime.

Our cities haven’t been planned keeping safety and convenience in mind. Access to and comfort with mass transit is one of the key rights of a woman, and it is not just the responsibility of the government to provide it, but also that of the residents to be more proactive and push for changes in order to get the security they deserve. Most importantly, gender sensitisation efforts in communities are a must, community outreach efforts across all media—mass media, print media, social media and even via popular culture like cinema are essential. We are seeing efforts in this direction, with mainstream publications like The Times Of India and men’s brands like Gillette coming out with well meaning campaigns to change attitudes towards women, to encourage onlookers to step in if they witness street sexual harassment. We could put all the safety measures in place to keep women safe from harassment and sexual assault on their daily commute, but unless mindsets that view women as mere sexual objects don’t change, little else will.

http://blog.tehelka.com/give-us-this-day-a-harassment-free-commute/