The Seven Signs of Ageing…

With apologies to Olay, here is a lovely tag passed on to me by Itchy. Ageing to me has always been the big boogieman standing right at my door, waiting to sink his scythe into me. All that age builds character lines, and adds beauty and such like doesnt cut any ice with me, because frankly, after you get them wrinkles, no one calls them character lines any more. They’re wrinkles. And they age you. And they make you invisible in a public setting. It makes one angry and sourfaced, and leads to puckering and frowning, and therefore, more wrinkles. The horror, the horror.

Short of using a steam iron to keep the face wrinkle free, and staying clear of all the fancy creams on the market promising to do so and actually just succeeding in keeping your wallet wrinkle free (my favourite cream? Johnson’s Baby Cream. Works the best. Better than all the anti wrinkle/anti ageing stuff I’ve tried and I tell you I am a skin care product junkie), staying wrinkle free is also a matter of attitude. Here’s where I think the years are catching up with me:

1] By the time the man says let’s make a night of it, I am already snoring with my mouth open and drool dribbling down my chin.

2] I wear sunglasses not to look cool, but to protect my eyes from hurting in the bright sunlight. And also to prevent the wrinkling that will happen from squinting in the sun.

3] My greatest moves on the dance floor are getting out of the way quick and finding a comfortable seat by the side.

4] My idea of exercise is bending down to tie the shoe laces to my sports shoes.

5] I still remember the words to inane radio commercials of my childhood “mahabaleshwar ka Fountain hotel, phone number yaad hain na?”, TT Underwear Aur Banian, Raju tumhare daant motiyon jaise chamak rahen hain,  but cant, for the life of me, remember the lyrics to a song in a movie I watched yesterday.

6] My idea of roughing it out is staying in a hotel without 24 hour room service.

7] I look at myself in the mirror every morning and think, for an almost forty year old, I’m in damn good shape.  Thinking this as a youthful me, intent on starving myself into anorexia would have been blasphemy.

And for my tips on anti ageing:

1] Eat a well balanced diet. Take a multivitamin daily. Take enough Omega Fatty acids in your diet or through supplements. Drink enough water to keep your bowels clear.

2] Stay out of the sun or use sunscreen. Use sunglasses and a visor in the sun.

3] Get a complete night’s sleep every day. Stay away from late nights as much as you can.

4] Cut out or cut down the sugar, alcohol, cigarettes and toxic negative thinking. Stay away from toxic people.

5] Spend time with children. Pray every night.

6] Get some exercise daily even if it is just a walk around your block.

7] Laugh as much as you can. And try to make the people around you laugh.

I tag:

Monika

Mama Mia

sands

Eves Lungs

Poppy

JLT

Ronita

Haffun girls.

About Kiran Manral

Kiran Manral is a writer and major social media influencer. After quitting her full-time journalist’s job when her son was born, Kiran became a mommy blogger on the internet, with a remarkably original voice. She was a journalist at The Asian Age, The Times of India, features editor Cosmopolitan, India Cultural Lead and Trend spotter at Gartner Iconoculture US, Senior Consultant at Vector Insights, Ideas Editor, SheThePeople.TV. Kiran is currently a celebrated author and an independent research and media consultant. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards for Literary Contribution in 2017. The Indian Council of UN Relations (ICUNR) supported by the Ministry of Women and Children, Govt of India, awarded her the International Women’s Day Award 2018 for excellence in the field of writing. In 2021 she was awarded the Womennovator 1000 Women of Asia award. In 2022, she was named amongst the 75 Iconic Indian women in STEAM by Red Dot Foundation and Beyond Black, in collaboration with the Office of the Principal Scientific Advisor, Government of India, and British High Commission, New Delhi. Her novella, Saving Maya, was long-listed for the 2018 Saboteur Award, supported by the Arts Council of England in the UK. Her novels 'The Face At the Window’ and ‘Missing, Presumed Dead were both long-listed for Jio MAMI Word to Screen, and ‘The Face at the Window’ was showcased at the South Asian Film Festival 2019. The Kitty Party Murder was shortlisted for the Popular Choice award at the 2021 JK Papers TOI AutHER awards. Her other books include The Reluctant Detective, Once Upon A Crush, All Aboard, Karmic Kids-The Story of Parenting Nobody Told You, A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up, True Love Stories, 13 Steps to Bloody Good Parenting, Raising Kids with Hope and Wonder in Times of a Pandemic and Climate Change, More Things in Heaven and Earth and Rising: 30 Women Who Changed India. She also has published short stories in various magazines, in acclaimed anthologies like Have A Safe Journey, Boo, The Best Asian Speculative Fiction 2018, Grandpa’s Tales, Magical Women and City of Screams. Kiran lives in Mumbai with her family. Social media handles Twitter: https://twitter.com/KiranManral Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kiranmanral/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KiranManralAuthorPage Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kiranmanral/
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12 Responses to The Seven Signs of Ageing…

  1. thanks milady for doing it!!
    and offcourse i also remember hamdard ka tonic cinkara!

    Like

  2. Poppy says:

    *Plugs my ears* I’m not old . I’m not old.

    Great read.

    Like

  3. Sue says:

    So, I just got sadder and sadder as I went through the list.

    I was born middle-aged.

    *bursts into loud, childish tears*

    Like

  4. Sonia says:

    Hehe – too funny!!

    Like

  5. Gigi says:

    Sound advice Kiran!

    Like

  6. Some of this was so funny 🙂

    A nice easy read. Thanks.

    Like

  7. Param says:

    honestly i don’t mind ageing provided i don’t have to give my DOB in every damn official document:))i love telling people age is just a number but deep down i wish i was 10 yrs younger lol..nowadays my little tots have started asking mumma aapki age kya hai??uff mera kya hoga..btw there is no magic pill or cream to make us look young except positive attitude and humor..what say??

    Like

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