This would have to be for my mother.
She has had the kind of life which has been the kind that novels are written about. I still have to gather the courage to write about her.
She lost her mother when she was just three. And her brother two. Her father married again. To a woman who treated her like the proverbial stepmothers do, like the maid servant of the house. Her stepmother went on to have her own brood of children.
My mother studied, did the housework, grew up. Trained as a teacher. Her father passed away, she took on the mantle of supporting her brothers and sisters. Married when she was in her thirties to my father. It wasn’t a very happy marriage. Enough said. She wouldn’t like me to say more. My father died when she was 42. She had no home, no money and nowhere to go. And me to support. She picked herself up and began taking tuitions to make ends meet. She got a job on compassionate grounds at the bank my father worked at and staff quarters. I grew up. I got married. I moved out. She bought herself a little flat and lives there alone now. She’s 73. Cheerful. Busy. Runs her home on her own. Without even a top servant for the vessels or the sweeping swabbing.
Everytime I see her, I am humbled. And grateful that I was born to a woman like her who might not be famous, or well to do, but has such indomitable strength of spirit that I have no choice but to walk in her footsteps and bolster my own.
Edited to add: And this post won me a mug. Maybe I’ll give it to mom.
wow !What a role model you have in front of you ! Your mother’s life is truly inspiring ! If god gives me even half of her indomitable spirit I would die happy !
humbled. i bow to your mom.
Wow! May I fall to my knees to her! Amazing person, what a great role model to have
Some stories are so clear, they take surprisingly few words to tell.
I can see your mother as you describe her: 73, cheerful, busy, independent. We all know everyday women who are real heroines. Recognizing their strength and spirit empowers us.
Thank you for sharing this!
~Natasha
Lovely to read, and so empowering. If someone could do this 30 years ago, surely we can too.
Amazing Kiran..your mom is sure a role model to loads of us
She sounds awesome! I wish I had met her when i was there!
I salute your mom for her strength and perhaps that explains how you are able to be what you are Lady K– an insparition for many. She is the best role model I can think of on this women’s day.
wow. salutes
Lovely piece, and so inspiring. I do hope we will be hearing many more wonderful stories of wonderful women.
My salute to her. Some ppl are just beyond words
Wow!I bow down to her .
and this post is such a beautiful gift to your wonderful mother
And here am rambling about some paltry issues.This post was like a slap on my face,Kiran. Again, Hats off to your mom.
I dont know why but i fought back tears reading this. today is my parents 49th anniversary-they have had their share of troubles but overall, it has been a very successful partnership.
I read about your mom and i have nothing but respect for her. RESPECT in bold.
I dont know her at all and will probably not meet her ever but do give her a big hug for me and tell her that she is a huge force, a powerful source inspiration for the rest of us!
And, yes, she could be luckier to have you as her daughter.
Few words, and the indomitable spirit comes out so vividly. Reminds us of the strength that we possess, as a woman. The strength we don’t even acknowledge, or want adulation for. She is the role model. She truly is. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow your mom is amazing. Makes me feel guilty about complaining about the small things in life. Hats off to her.
Hi Kiran,
thank you so much for sharing. This was exactly what I needed today. I am struggling with my 5 yr old with his kindergarten transition. He is special needs. This week has been driving me (him as well)nuts. I lost all perspective and was constatly feeling sorry for myself(and him). When I come across things like this is when I start to pickup myself and move ahead.
She is a real HERO.
Hugs, dear, it will get better….
WOW! Thanks for posting this, Kiran. We need such amazing stories of life for us to look at the brighter side of things instead of cribbing.
My salutes to her.
Wow, wow, wow! I truly take a bow to her. When I come across people like her, it truly gives me the opportunity to stop complaining about insignificant stuff and be truly thankful for the life I live
When I wallow in self pity I’m always given a reality check. At my son’s speech therapy class yesterday met a mom who told me she was bounced from foster home to foster home because no one wanted to adopt her; she had speech delays herself.
This post and the conversation with M made me really stop feeling sorry for myself this week.
Hats off! I guess our generation ladies will never have the tolerance level our mothers had. When I analyze the way my mother approached a difficult situation in her 20′s is so much different than the way I do it now! We crib about every small thing and they faced so many hurdles just for their loved ones.
Amazing…hats off to her. Exemplary people who live their lives lost in the crowd. I wish some day you write a novel dedicated to her. I am glad that her story has a happy ending in you and your son.
Inspiring indeed! You are simply fortunate to have such a great role model for a mother!
Everyone, overwhelmed. Thanks. She would be most surprised. She would say, I just did what I had to.
Oh Kiran!! Your mother is just amazing!! I wish I could meet her and hug her. Just makes me realize how unnecessarily I crib over immaterial things somedays!
what a truly remarkable woman. what an example for you to follow.
a real braveheart. god bless.
Thank you anna
Oh my God, she’s amazing. Hats off to her courage and spirit…an inspiration to us all! Loved this post, you have described such a big life in very few, but very powerful words.
Words aren’t enough to describe her life.
Hi Kiran
It is heartwarming to read about your mother. An amazing role model.
Warm wishes
Anu
Thank you Anu
Wow she is truly amazing!
Hats off to your Mom… Really amazed by her spirit and courage.. a real role model…
She truly is.
Hi Kiran,
Really loved it. Very inspiring.
Thanks to you I have submitted an entry as well –
http://poetmamma.blogspot.com/2011/03/essence-of-woman.html
Also, I am a newbie blogger, and thanks to you and your wonderful posts. They gave me the idea and inspiration to write again.
http://poetmamma.blogspot.com/2011/03/balancing-act.html
Am honoured. Thank you.
A lady with indomitable spirit. She has much to her credit, doesn’t she?
She does.
What an amazing Mum you have.
I read a poem today. Feel free if it gets too long to ignore or delete. I am sharing because I appreciate that it feels true to me about this ‘holiday,’ as does your post. ~Shanta
From Eve’s book I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World.
REFUSER
From the Lebanese mountains
To the Kenyan village of El Doret
We are practicing self-defense
Versed in Karate, Tai Chi, Judo, and Kung Foo
We are no longer surrendering to our fate.
Now, we are the ones who walk our girl friends home from school.
And we don’t do it with macho. We do it with cool.
Our mothers are the Pink Sari Gang
Fighting off the drunken men
With rose pointed fingers and sticks in
Uttar Pradesh.
The Peshmerga women
in the Kurdish mountains
with barrettes in their hair
and AK47′s instead of pocket books.
We are not waiting anymore to be taken and retaken.
We are the Liberian women sitting
in the Africa sun blockading the exits
til the men figure it out.
We are the Nigerian women
babies strapped to out backs
occupying the oil terminals of Chevron.
We are the women of Kerala
who refused to let Coca Cola
privatize our water.
We are Cindy Sheehan showing up in Crawford without a plan.
We are all those who forfeited husbands boyfriends and dates
Cause we were married to our mission.
We know love comes from all directions and in many forms.
We are Malalai who spoke back to the Afghan Loya Jurga
And told them they were “raping warlords” and
She kept speaking even when they kept
trying to blow up her house.
And we are Zoya whose radical mother was shot dead when Zoya was only a child so she was fed on revolution which was stronger than milk
And we are the ones who kept and loved our babies
even though they have the faces of our rapists.
We are the girls who stopped cutting ourselves to release the pain
And we are the girls who refused to have our clitoris cut
And give up our pleasure.
We are:
Rachel Corrie who wouldn’t couldn’t move away from the Israeli tank.
Aung San Suu Kyi who still smiles after years of not being able to leave her room.
Anne Frank who survives now cause she wrote down her story.
We are Neda Soltani gunned down by a sniper in the streets of
Tehran as she voiced a new freedom and way
And we are Asmaa Mahfouz from the April 6th movement in Egypt
Who twittered an uprising.
We are the women riding the high seas to offer
Needy women abortions on ships.
We are women documenting the atrocities
in stadiums with video cameras underneath our Burqas.
We are seventeen and living for a year in a tree
And laying down in the forests to protect wild oaks.
We are out at sea interrupting the whale murders.
We are freegans, vegans, trannies
But mainly we are refusers.
We don’t accept your world
Your rules your wars
We don’t accept your cruelty and unkindness.
We don’t believe some need to suffer for others to survive
Or that there isn’t enough to go around
Or that corporations are the only and best economic arrangement
And we don’t hate boys, okay?
That’s another bullshit story.
We are refusers
But we crave kissing.
We don’t want to do anything before we’re ready
but it could be sooner than you think
and we get to decide
and we are not afraid of what is pulsing through us.
It makes us alive.
Don’t deny us, criticize us or infantilize us.
We don’t accept checkpoints, blockades or air raids
We are obsessed with learning.
On the barren Tsunamied beaches of Sri Lanka
In the desolate and smelly remains
Of the lower ninth
We want school.
We want school.
We want school.
We know if you plan too long
Nothing happens and things get worse and that
Most everything is found in the action
and instinctively we get that the scariest thing
isn’t dying, but not trying at all.
And when we finally have our voice
and come together
when we let ourselves gather the knowledge
when we stop turning on each other
but direct our energy towards what matters
when we stop worrying about
our skinny ass stomachs or too frizzy hair
or fat thighs
when we stop caring about pleasing
and making everyone so incredibly happy-
We got the Power.
If
Janis Joplin was nominated the ugliest man on her campus
And they sent Angela Davis to jail
If Simone Weil had manly virtues
And Joan of Arc was hysterical
If Bella Abzug was eminently obnoxious
And Ellen Sirleaf Johnson is considered scary
If Arundhati Roy is totally intimidating
and Rigoberta Menchu is pathologically intense
And Julia Butterfly Hill is an extremist freak
Call us hysterical then
Fanatical
Eccentric
Delusional
Intimidating
Eminently obnoxious
Militant
Bitch
Freak
Tattoo me
Witch
Give us our broomsticks
And potions on the stove
We are the girls
who are aren’t afraid to cook.
What a lovely post – I can picture your mother happy in her own flat despite all her hardships. I hope she gets to read your tribute to her. (I’d love your thoughts on our test site for http://www.storyofmum.com if you ever have a moment and would like to share any more stories about your mother…)Thank you for sharing this story.
Dear Kiran,
I meant to write to you when i read about your father. A lot of what you wrote resonated with me…as I had lost my father when I was very young. But then I felt all overwhelmed and was swamped with madness at work so let it go.
But this time I cannot. Your mother sounds incredible. How lucky you are to have her and she you.
much love
gauri