Back from the dead.

It has been a long weekend. No scratch that. It has been a very very long weekend. I donot like long weekends unless they involve me, in a hammock, sipping a margerita, in room serviced luxury. This long weekend, unfortunately, was nothing like that. For one, I had back to back meetings Saturday morning. We had the mata ki chowki and dandiya nite in the building complex I live in and me being me, has itchy feet until I jump right in and take on more work than I can handle. So here I am, part of said cultural committee organising these events, ostensibly to educate the kids about Our Glorious Culture, but in reality, ensuring the quickest way to grey up and have my hair fall out in stress induced patches. So I spent the second half of the day running around like a headless chicken, and by the time the music system began roaring with dandiya beats, and folks were jumping into the arena, their dandiyas in hand, and their mirrored outfits a twinkling, I had collapsed into a fragile plastic chair that was complaining ominously about dead weight inflicted and my feet had just about handed in their resignation letters. And were hunting around for alternate placements, where owners could be counted on to have their calcium regularly, and ensure that occasional footsoaks in warm salts were indulged in, apart from the fortnightly pedicure. I believe I even wafted off into deep snoring, but thankfully kind friends shook me awake before the drool from my mouth landed on my sequin embroidered churidar front. I had to be propped up and walked home by the husband. So dead was I on my feet. Of course, some nasty things had happened to the BP, making the world spin around in psychedelic colour and such like but will not get into the sordid details here. The moral of the story? Nine days fasting is all too well, if you’re sitting at home and downing ‘Fast Food’, you know what I mean, the Farali approved stuff that is allowed during said fasts. If you plan on fasting at a stretch and running around like Superwomen without her chudds on the outside, be prepared to collapse on day Nine of said stretch in a public situation and make a complete fool of yourself.

The Dandiya nite by itself went by. It did not go too well. Many factors at play, including the sad fact that when a bunch of women sit together to get work done, the ubiquitious rotten apples in the bunch will proceed to demolish any good work done. Remind me the next time I shoot my hand up whenever volunteers are asked for, that volunteering doesnt necessarily mean only working to get things done, it also means pandering to egos, playing control games, and power equations. And kick me right back into my seat and warn me to stay put and zipped until all volunteer positions are taken.

The next day was a Sunday. Went to the maters. Slept like a log while the child was cared for by a responsible adult. It is a dark day in hell when this happens so I milk it for all it is worth, i.e, catch up on zzzs.

Dusehra. Being a festive day, the menu was extensive. The cook is on leave. Yes. Yes. Yes. The horror, the horror. Let me not even get into the details. Let it be enough when I say the memory of that day ranks on the shelf along the memory of the C-Sec, the endoscopy for PCOD, and 26/7 when I walked barefoot from Dadar to Kandivali.

I have a long weekend coming up. Friday, Oct 2, Gandhi Jayanti. Saturday, holiday ostensibly but meetings scheduled, Sunday, I propose to strike work in the kitchen and demand that lunch be ordered in. I need to stay sane. Too much cooking is injurious to my mental health.

So how was your long weekend?


About Kiran Manral

Kiran Manral published her first book, The Reluctant Detective in 2011. Since then, she has published eight books across genres till date. Her books include romance and chicklit with Once Upon A Crush (2014), All Aboard (2015), Saving Maya (2017); horror with The Face at the Window (2016) and nonfiction with Karmic Kids (2015), A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up (2016) and True Love Stories (2017). Her short stories have been published on Juggernaut, in magazines like Verve and Cosmopolitan, and have been part of anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul, Have a Safe Journey (2017) and Boo (2017). Her articles and columns have appeared in the Times of India, Tehelka, DNA, Yowoto, Shethepeople, New Woman, Femina, Verve, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Conde Nast Traveller, DB Post, The Telegraph, the Asian Age, iDiva, TheDailyO and more. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards 2017 for Literary Contribution. She is a TEDx speaker and a mentor with Vital Voices Global Mentoring Walk 2017.
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8 Responses to Back from the dead.

  1. Aathira says:

    My weekend was sad too… I did nothing but veg out in front of the laptop and TV alternatively! 😦
    Following which , I decided that I shall make some rava idlis and then after that was so dead tired, decided its dinner out for sure.


  2. Anamika says:

    Woman, your cooking routine is scaring me. Dont wait till the weekend to order in. Cant you get some dabba ladies to cook on a daily basis? Wont be great but just so you can tide over. When do the sisterhood of missing maids return btw? Any news?


  3. maya says:

    i feel the pain.
    had some guests over who basically eat three times what we eat, and could just not keep up with the cooking. plus their overweight kids ate up all my skinny kid’s food, and ours 🙂 neither the shrikhand nor the upma were enough. they drank up all the milk, ate up EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. finally called for junk food. pizzas and biscuits and ice cream. all were full and happy.

    the parents kept encouraging the kids to eat more and more – apparently the lose a couple of kilos everytime they are sick, so the parents believe in keeping them overweight. THIS IS TRUE!!

    can’t believe the parents can’t see how fat their girls are. one is 13 the other is 10 – i shudder to think they are going to soon be grossly obese.

    sorry i’m venting here 😉


  4. Kiran Manral says:

    Maya: now imagine having these as permanent houseguests… going to the fridge to find something you thought you’d eat the next day to find it over, I’m hopping mad almost every day….
    Arent you so glad these guests had to leave someday.


  5. Ron says:

    You poor thing. I had a lovely weekend. My parents were here. Mom cooked. Maids came. I slept. Then ate Moms yummmy cooking. Then wore nice clothes and sauntered out to visit various puja pandals where I ate some more. Then I came home late at night and slept. Repeat for the next three days. Heh heh heh (read as evil laughter).


    • Kiran Manral says:

      Ron: Now I officially hate you. *turns ugly shade of green* I want my mum’s cooking too. Am sick of eating crap cooked by me.


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